As a child, our medicine cabinet always had these things to put on the skin:
1. Caladryl - for poison ivy
2. Mercurochrome and/or Merthiolate - can't remember which one really burned but both were for cuts
3. Campho-Phenique - for chigger and mosquito bites or anything else that itched. It was pretty smelly.
Can you even buy those last two any more?
I'm taking a little poetic license with lines 3&4 below. The final 3 syllables of each need to be said like a musical triplet (3 notes in one beat) in order to keep the rhythm accurate.
A slutty gal, name of Monique
As a douche would use Campho-phenique
When a man would go down on her
He'd instantly frown and grrrr
"Your pussy does nothing but rique!"
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