Saturday, May 27, 2017

2502. Sleepy town down south

The citizens in Tishomingo
For excitement go out and play bingo
And when that proves a bore
They go off to the store
For the latest recording by Ringo.

Pop. 3,075 and home to Murray Junior College.  Students enjoy claiming that they go to MIT -- Murray in Tishomingo.

Friday, May 26, 2017

2501. Thought I'd pull out an old joke, too

A horny young man from The Village
Takes out ignorant dates whom he'll pillage
He uses no condom
Safe sex seems beyond 'em
Pulls out pre-ejaculate spillage.

Pop. 9.4K
Q: What do sex and savings accounts have in common?
A: Early withdrawal causes loss of interest.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

OP425. I'm still here

I really don't mean to diss May
With the lack of a limerick display

You had seemed quite concerned
That my fortunes had turned
I assure you that I am okay.

Sorry.  I go into dry spells from time to time.  I really should be posting more here. Sometimes they come a little easier to me than other times.  I guess when I go weeks or months at a time without posting, it's natural to wonder what happened.

Congrats on 2500 limericks, by the way!

2500. Onan up to it

A few months after turning pubescent
A lad learned to jack off in Crescent
He would do it at home
Mesmerized by the foam
Which shot forth in a wad effervescent.

Pop. 3,674

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

2499. The Cometh

The B.A.* lawmaker, Mike Ritze,
Has a bill which gives true Christians fitze.
He would create a panic,
Collect kids Hispanic
From schools to deport, what a ditz
* Initials for Broken Arrow -- Tulsa's largest suburb (107K)

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

2498. The decrescendo method

i.e., she hopes loud leads to soft.
Out of birth control pills in Comanche
Mid-fuck, one girl screams like a banshee
In the midst of her sin
'Fore the guy pulls the pin
She can make him deflate fast (or can she?)

Pop. 1,423

Monday, May 22, 2017

2497. 5-22-17 AWAD

It means cozy; pleasant; friendly. 
When the USSR launched its Sputnik
It destroyed any chance for gemutlich
Between Khruschev and Ike
And his V.P. alike
Who proved later to be no astute Dick.

That would be Richard Nixon.

2496. Segregation by preference

The once-thriving town known as Boley
Was founded by black people solely
Who'd been slaves to the Creek
Tribe and made to be meek
Their treatment was wholly unholy.

Pop. 1,233 and still 55% African-American.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

2495. A peer from a seer

Should you move to the small town of Coalgate
I will bet I can tell you your whole fate
You will not find a job,

Be depressed and you'll sob,
Also have trouble finding a soul mate.

Pop. 1,931, with high unemployment.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

2494. FAR, not near, rhymes

This blog's gained a reader from Estevan
It's in very far southern "Saskatchevan"
Keep coming to visit!
It makes me inquisit-
ive; Swift Current Dave, where's the rest of 'em?

Yeah, I know those rhymes suck.  Improvements welcomed!

Friday, May 19, 2017

2493. AKA round pound

A circle-jerk entrant in Drumright
Shot sideways; he just couldn't cum right.
Guy to left (wiping splatter),
"I see what's the matter,
You fool, you're not holdin' yer thumb right!"

Pop. 2,831

Thursday, May 18, 2017

2492. It does not compute

PC wouldn't 'wake' down in Idabel
So I shook it and thumped, even tried a yell
But no lights would come on
All my data was gone!
I wonder how is it I fried a Dell?

Pop. 7K

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

2491. Suppose he ever Asta if he could?

In the panhandle town, Boise City,
Lived a youngster whose toys were all shitty
At the movies it seemed
That he quite often dreamed
About sucking on Myrna Loy's titty.

Pop. 1,266

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

2490. Mid-state mendicant

There's a destitute bum down in Chandler
As a kid, he once had fever gland'lar
Guess it took his ambition
A job's not his mission
Instead he is just a panhandler.

Pop. 3,245

Monday, May 15, 2017

2489. Girls know not tumesce with him

A teenager born in Coweta
Cannot screw Nancy, Jane, or Lolita,
Due to one major thang --
"He's" transgendered.  His whang
Just stays flaccid 'cause it's a faux petah.

Pop. 9,559.