Tuesday, November 21, 2017

2733. Delta hand that got better

A rushee was at a frat smoker
When a member said, "Let's play some poker!"
The young man wasn't pledged
When 'twas found that he'd hedged
All his bets with an up-the-sleeve joker.

Monday, November 20, 2017

PD326-329. Take distaff and shove it

There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her
To cry (when you came,)
"Oh dear!  What a shame!
Well, now we shall have to start over."

A pious young lady named Finnegan
Would caution her friend, "Well, you're in again;
So time it aright,
Make it last through the night,
For I certainly don't want to sin again!"

There was a young lady named Ransom
Who was rogered three times in a hansom.
When she cried out for more
A voice from the floor
Replied, "My name is Simpson, not Samson."

There was a young lady from Maine
Who claimed she had men on her brain.
But you knew from the view,
As her abdomen grew,
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

2732. A Benz-ene ring

Tom's fam'ly is known as The Bradys
They drive only cars from Mercedes
When the tires they deflate
Their gas mileage ain't great
And they cuss up a blue streak from Hades.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

2731. Orphaning Bambi

It's deer season, does are in rut
Hunters hie to a cabin, bring smut,
Smoke cigars, get real drunk,
Masturbate in a bunk,
Crack of dawn, shoot a buck which they gut.

Friday, November 17, 2017

2730. Go fig-ure

In The Garden lived Adam and Eve
'Til the serpent did Evie deceive.
They weren't too sartorial
In clothing arboreal
When God told them, "You have to leaf."

Thursday, November 16, 2017

2729. His mind goes roman

An historian dreamed of wild frolics
With mythic men's wieners and bollocks.
These vicarious sins
Were sometimes done with twins, 
The heavenly Castor and Pollux.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

2728. What do you zinc lead him to it?

For vocation, fat Johnny picked smeltering,
The heat from the furnace was sweltering.
Though he sometimes got burned
He lost weight so he learned
That his chosen profession was sveltering.
Now you have the skinny on that job.

OP473-474. Yup, we're all pigs

The males of our species, you see
Are obsessed about sex, even me
So it must be asserted
All men are perverted
The question is only degree

I don't care if you're gay or you're straight
For the matter's not up for debate
So it needs to be said
We all think with THAT head
I assure you, all men can relate.

Being a man, I'm somewhat in the know on this.  I don't know if it's true for women.  Suzanne, what do you think?

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

2726-2727. The list grows longer

We've heard Tiger's and Weiner's recants
Weinstein/Spacey have each had their chance
And then Louis CK
Said, "I'm sorry... OK?"
NO!  Their dicks should've stayed in their pants!

Bill O'Reilly's not welcome at Vassar
Nor is gymnastics doc, Larry Nassar.
But if George Herbert Walker
Was being a stalker
At 79?  That's a gasser.

OP472. He should have stayed monogamous

The lascivious, lewd, lazy lord
Had a harem, a hell of a horde.
Lots of sex (his sole goal)
Stopped his heart, took its toll
As too many a hole was explored.

Monday, November 13, 2017

2725. Papal bull

1.2 billion Cath'lic believers
Among them you'll find some silk weavers.
They make robes of tapestry
For those in the papistry
Who often have been gay deceivers.

Sunday, November 12, 2017

2724. Massa chews it

A slave lord loved sex, wouldn't duck it,
And his dick was so long he could suck it!
Yes, he used mastication
To do masturbation
(I hear that he hailed from Nantucket.)

Saturday, November 11, 2017

2723. Are you saying zzzzz yet?

This makes all 54 African countries... YEAAAA!
Libya didn't get its own entry but it was used as a rhyme (for Namibia) way back in #1024 (and reprinted in #2712.)

If you live in the isles Zanzibar
You can get by quite well sans a car
But should you want to see a
Friend in Tanzania
Do not try to swim, land's s' far.

2722. Comin' and goin'

Though I did this country in #2683, I couldn't resist one more.

With une putain in hot Mozambique
I stuck my dick inside her cheek.
Had to pee, had to come,
So right there on her gum
I first shot, then I took a big leak.

2721. Jazz in Brazzaville

"Republic of the" precedes "Congo"
It's a place you can hear a real bongo
Being played (if you'll pay)
By a guy who looks gay
But he's straight, like that muscled up Mongo.