Sunday, October 22, 2017

2687. A little goes a long way

There once was a virgin in Chad
Who decided 'twas time to be had.
When a guy came along
With a nineteen inch dong,
She let him insert just a tad.

Friday, October 20, 2017

2686. He's not really wicket

A wild cricket bowler from Kenya
Doesn't mean to but sometimes will bean ya
Then, with stiff upper lip,
He'll offer this quip,
"So sorry, old chap, to demean ya."

2684-2685. OK, YOU try to rhyme it!

A speech-hampered man from Malawi
Was hard to decipher, by gawi!
If you said, "Come ag'in?"
He would look up and grin
And say, "Can't understand me?  I'm sawi."

If you want first-date sex in Malawi
Don't try more than just being pawi.
For should you go beyond
You'll find girls are not fond
Of a fuck or that other way, jawi.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

2683. What will a dime bag get me?

A woman from dark Mozambique
Has never been labeled as mique.
If you'll give her two doobies
She'll show you her boobies,
Just part of her zaftig physique.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

2682. Headside manner

There's a doctor in southwestern Zambia
Who treats migraine headaches with cambia
He can be awful gruff
When prescribing the stuff
Patients wish he would be nambi-pambia.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

2681. Iniquities midst antiquities

In Egypt, the capital's Cairo
And it's home to a no-legged tyro.
Although he's still youthly
He screws rather couthly
By balancing just like a gyro.

If you can rhyme 'Egypt', please do so.  I'm in de nile.

Monday, October 16, 2017

2680. Wordsmith lacks the Euterpean gene

Mork from Ork said 'goodbye', Nanu nanu
We ought to repeat that to Anu.
Prints 5-line disasters
From many poetasters,

He can't tell a good one from guanu.
Pardon my misspelling of the last word.  Anu Garg, founder and wordsmith at AWAD, gives ink on a regular basis to non-rhyming, un-scanning limericks.  I don't want him to say goodbye; he just needs a better vetter.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

2679. Animal husbandry

To you Berbers who live in Tunisia:
A camel can bring aphrodisia
Same thing with a goat,
But never a shoat
Your religion says they may not please ya.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

2678. Whew! 29 to 24

Though the refs tried to rob us connive-ally
In the record book, write it archivally.
Had we lost this big game
'twould have been a damned shame
But OU won the Red River Rivalry!

Helped by several 'phantom' calls, texas came back from a 20-0 deficit to lead 24-23 with only 8 minutes left in the game.  The Sooners responded with a touchdown pass less than 2 minutes later, then held on for dear life.

2677. Not dune too well

There's a giant wasteland, Mauritania,
Nine times larger than our Pennsylvania.
In that tropical zone
It is dry as a bone
The inhabitants wish it were rainia.

Desertification is somewhere between 75 and 90 per cent.

Friday, October 13, 2017

2676. She's Sancerre about it

Une femme dans le sud Côte d'Ivoire,
Drank only the wines of the Loire.
Once empty, she'd throttle
Her cunt with the bottle,

Sans boyfriend, c'était sa bête noire.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

2675. Somebody, steal his phone

Trump's hot oil continues to pour on
Rex Tillerson (called Don "a moron.")
He needs some retreats
From his ev'ryday tweets
Otherwise, he'll continue to bore on.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

2674. Not a pecker checker

A whore down in Lagos, Nigeria
Will fuck any guy, no criteria.
Due to standards so loose
She's now dripping the juice
Of some mean gonococcal bacteria.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

2673. Ten buck, too

A man bought a painting in Mali.
It's surrealism made him say, "Golly!"
There were no melting clocks
But it still gave him shocks,
For the signature clearly read, "Dali."

Monday, October 9, 2017

2672. Hemorrhoidal hindrance

A prostitute living in Togo
Shows a blow job as part of her logo.
Though she screws many styles
She's a victim of piles;
If you want anal sex, it's a no-go.

I did Togo's next-door neighbor in June of 2014.  I'll save you the look-up:

 1361. Atlantic bight (bite?)
Have you looked at a map of Benin?
Its shape is a wee bit obscene
From the looks of the shaft
The mohel was daft,
Either that, or the guy was just mean.

I've heard it said that mohels work only for tips...