Friday, March 31, 2017

2441. Wow, civic sagas

If you'd like a town's spelling that's rare, a
Good one you might start with is Harrah
Just like Ada, it's great
Because it, too, does rate
As a palindrome, but do you care, huh?

Pop. 5,095 (and note each word in my title...)

Thursday, March 30, 2017

2440. Clitical approach

An old cunnilinguist in Cache
Loves the taste, still performs with panache
He ate his first cunt
As a late-teen aged runt
And e'er since hasn't washed his mustache.

Pop. 2,906.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

2439. Cherokee chump change

There's a Hard Rock Hotel™ in Catoosa
With casino (the slots could be loosa)
When I go there and win
Gives my face a big grin
And I hum 'long to John Philip Sousa.

Pop. 7,151

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

2436-2438. Trashed by Trump

If in Beverly Hills, go to Spago
Try Bavette's Bar and Bœuf in Chicago
But for your non-food taste
I'd suggest, "Don't make haste
To see formerly fine Mar-a-Lago."

Built by Marjorie Merr'wether Post
(Who was rich but did not brag or boast.)
Now The Donald is struttin'
Down where E.F. Hutton
Joined Marge as a consummate host.

It's a playground for Trump and his cronies
To play golf and admire polo ponies
What they do in Palm Beach
Might be grounds to impeach
At a minimum, though, they're all phonies.

Ms. Post (middle name Merriwether) became the richest US woman after inheriting Post Cereals in 1914.  Her 2nd marriage in 1920 was to stock broker EF Hutton and together, they built Mar-a-Lago.  Their daughter, Nedenia, became actress Dina Merrill.

Monday, March 27, 2017

2435. Expensive turndown

If you're lookin' for poontang in Pryor
Good luck with Annette should you try 'er
Claimed she was a virgin
Talked me into splurgin'
On dinner, then had no desire.

Pop. 9,500  Real name is "Pryor Creek", but no one much says it.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

2434. Chickasaw Chuckle

Though it's tiny, don't make fun of Roff,
As you pass thru, your hat you should doff
I doubt that you care
That my dad grew up there
But 'twould please me if you wouldn't scoff.

Pop. 727.  Three miles NE of town is the entrance to Oklahoma's Chickasaw Turnpike.  It costs 55¢ to drive 13.3 miles of TWO-LANE ROAD!!  What were they thinking?

Saturday, March 25, 2017

2433. Horsin' around

A wide spot in the road named Vamoosa
Sports a guy who's a lollapaloosa
Its female pop'lation
Loves his copulation
He's hung like a damned appaloosa!

Pop. perhaps 50

Friday, March 24, 2017

2432. High plains HQ

The panhandle town known as Guymon
Does not lend itself much to rhymin'
So to make this one crass
I will add "tits" and "ass"
And then throw in a gal's busted hymen.

Pop. 11,442, it's about dead-center in the OK panhandle.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

2431. C'mon, all anon.

This blog has a reader from Italy 
My StatCounter™ spies him quite prettily 
Wish new readers would write
After finding this site
I'll just hope you're the Pope
(Walter Mittily.)
Other regular-but-unknown readers are from Portugal, Germany, and Mountain View, CA.  My email address is shown in the banner atop each page and I really do enjoy hearing from visitors.  Oh, and Walter Mitty was a Thurber character who daydreamed that he was various heroic characters.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

2430. SOL from no MMR

MMR vaccinates against measles-mumps-rubella.
A boy in the burg of Tecumseh
Came down with a case of the mumps.  He
had missed the vaccine
'Cause his parents were mean
Now his cheeks display gigantic lumps, see?

Pop. 6,457. 

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

2429. My turn!

A hooker who lived in Newcastle
Sometimes took on johns by the passel
Three at once could insert,
Others risked getting hurt;
To decide who was next, they would wrassle.

Pop. 7,685.  That's how 'wrestle' is said 'round here.

OP418. Oh, the nerve!

At a pool, where the D-cups are brimmin'
The men cannot focus on swimmin'
As they ogle each bust,
Something grows and they lust
Behind speedos, disgusting the women.

Suz, here's a follow-up from your host, The Limericist:
A burka's not meant to be slimmin'
When worn, men's libidos start dimmin'
Whether A-cup or D
Men do not get to see.
(Suzanne's lim'rick can't take place in Yemen.)

Monday, March 20, 2017

2428. So long, solon

Oklahoma State Senator Shortey,
Decided that he'd get cavortey.

A boy 'pro' and some pot
Led to Ralph's getting caught,
Also charged with committing a tortey. 

What a hypocrite!  <---- Click to read.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

2427. A chance Vance romance

A philanderer living in Enid
Took a Major's wife out, where he lean-ed
On her in a motel
She promised to "no tell"
But must have, for he's been subpoenaed.

Pop. 51.7K, it is Oklahoma's 9th largest city and home to Vance AFB.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

2426. Sidewall slasher

A malicious young punk down in Marlow
Likes to puncture folks' tires with a Barlow
Knife with a sharp point;
He belongs in 'the joint'
Where they'll teach him to not make a car low.

Pop. 4,662

Friday, March 17, 2017

2425. Drinking and thriving

There's a nasty old rascal in Glenpool
With a freezer for keeping his gin cool
And when he gets tight
He goes out for the night
And fucks whom he can with his sin tool.

Pop. 13K.  Site of a huge 1905 oil boom.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

2424. Gateway to Red Rock Canyon

 A town off I-40 named Hinton
Is thirty-eight miles east of Clinton
It's the start of the west,
If you don't wear your best
Pair of sunglasses, you'll wind up squintin'.

Pop. 2,450. Lots of copperheads in that state park!

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

2423. Or are you just happy to see me?

A drag queen who frolicked in Calais
Was rich; had a personal valet
Who would dress him in Wang
But it still showed his whang;
This created a stir at the ballet.

Alt. title of Pas de (howdy) deux...

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

2422. Let's challah rabbi to join us

There are not many Jews up in Alva
To eat kugel and latkes and halvah
But whenever they nosh
They do it real posh
Snacks are served on a fine sterling salver.

Pop. 4,900.  Apologies for the near rhyme to end L5.

Monday, March 13, 2017

2421. You won't get bitten

There's a 10 dollar hooker in Choctaw
Who does not think it sinful to mock law
Though she doesn't do oral
Do not think her moral
She would if she could, but has lockjaw.

Pop. 11,100

Sunday, March 12, 2017

2420. 'Burb to Tulsa's south

I know an old fellow named Rigsby
From the farming community, Bixby.
When not tending his crop
He'll be found throwing slop
In the small enclosed pen where the pigs be.
Pop. 21K. EVERYBODY 'round here says it "Bigsbee."  I suppose that means that we are "higs", not hicks.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

2419. Cream dreams

In the fairly large town, Ponca City,
Boys would love seeing Ivanka titty
Likelihood of that day
Is the same I would say
As a Kate Upton quick bonk (a pity.)

Pop. 25K, and HQ of Conoco until 2002.

Friday, March 10, 2017

2418. He's the tight end

A high school cheerleader from Sayre
Had the hots for her team's premier player
When she tried to get near
He said, "Honey, I'm queer"
A pronouncement that sure did dismay 'er.

Pop. 4,600

Thursday, March 9, 2017

2417. Good thinkin', Mencken

Ecdysiasts living in Claremore
Can hardly make customers stare more
But when they strip to G-strings
And pasties on bee stings
Of nipples, men hope they will dare more.

Pop. 19K.  Mencken coined ecdysiast to describe Gypsy Rose Lee.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

OP416-417. A treat you can't eat

When it's done, or complete, or is whole
Is it comical, funny, or droll?
You decide, or you choose
With opinions, or views
If you'll praise, or applaud, or extol

My objective, or endgame, or goal
Is to give, or deliver, or dole
And I think, or believe
What you'll get, or receive
Is each line as a synonym roll.

Except the last one, of course.

2416. Trump-eting

Hey, Don, we un-humbly beseech
You to stop with the bombastic speech.
Incessantly tweeting
Will lead to a beating
Please, Congress, begin to impeach.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

2415. Gridiron grandeur

In the small Tulsa suburb of Jenks
Are no roller nor ice-skating rinks
But their school system's tops
Football team rarely flops
It's a great town to live in methinks.

Pop. 21K.  From 2004 thru 2016 the HS football team's record was 144-19 with 3 state championships.  From 1993 thru 2003 they won 8 state championships!

Monday, March 6, 2017

2414. Evidently I gypsum women

I dated a girl from Watonga
So pretty I said, "Cowabonga!"
She crawled into my bed,
When I undressed she said,
"I was hoping you'd be a bit longa."

Pop. 2,986, and home to a large gypsum quarry.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

2413. Two ACLs = Zero NFLs

Jason White, Heisman winner from Tuttle,
Had his NFL hopes get the scuttle
Some thought he was shafted
When he wasn't drafted
But I think his best job's to buttle.

Tuttle, just SW of OKC, has pop. 6,500.  While QB White's both-operated-on knees led to his being overlooked by the pros, he also isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

2412. I'd give her a 6 (inches)

For fun in the small town of Seminole
People go outside town to the swimmin' hole
Braver folks skinny dip;
When gals do a back flip
The guys hope that they might see some women hole.

Pop. 7,400

Friday, March 3, 2017

2411. He auto extend some credit

The woman was poor and grew tenser
When the grease monkey tried to convince 'er,
"Ma'am, your car will not run
If you don't spend the mon
To replace the points, plugs, and condenser."

My first car was a used '64 VW Beetle.  This was 1967 and I recall that tune-ups required those three items.  The cost, incl. labor, was $25.  With electronic ignition systems now the standard, are any cars still made that need points and a condenser?

Thursday, March 2, 2017

2410. The Spanish-American Whore

In the small Okie town of Vinita
Lives a virginal young señorita
Although she won't chinga
Licks cocks with her lengua
She's known as the town's "señor eatah.
Pop. 5,500

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

2409. Dr. Jekyll with nary a heckle

I expected a speech full of spite
One damning the left from the right
But his manner was civil
With not too much drivel
Who WAS that on TV last night?

2408. Stridently strait-laced

If you break the law in Broken Arrow
You will need a guy like Clarence Darrow
To defend you, for they
Have police (I hear say)
Who can cause you to sing like a sparrow.

Pop. 106K.  Violent crime in US is 3.73/1000 residents.  BA's is 1.42.