Limericks of three varieties: Clean, Suggestive, and Filthy! The ones in red
are R- to X-rated. Those with numeric-only labels are my own, those labeled "OP" are from Other Posters, and the ones with "PD" labels are in the Public Domain. You may email me at limericist@cox.net.
Saturday, November 14, 2015
1895. How to make a woman scream twice
Start by saying, "I hope you like rapes," Then reel out your cock 'til she gapes Now become really crass -- Fuck her hard in the ass When you're done, wipe your dick on her drapes.
I knew it! I knew you'd be juggling with your ethics to grab first prize! (psycho!) Anyhow, my comment to yesterday's lovely poem suggested (and predicted) I'd be needing a cardiologist or proctologist; looks like I'll be needing both.
This is worse than a porn magazine With the filthiest pics ever seen Your really crass verse Is fifty times worse Than a raging-hormone-ridden teen.
I feel like a nun in a whorehouse My soul is approaching the poorhouse Old St. Peter will say I shall starve ev'ry day I'll be lucky to eat like a dormouse.
The devil has just bought your soul And he chewed out a bottomless hole Which leads to a cell In a prison called Hell Where you'll never be out on parole.
I think you should go see a shrink You've been playing too much with your dink Just don't let your neighbors See fruits of your labors They're bound to throw you in the clink!
Never thought I'd go back to a church Upon one of the pews shall I perch To avoid a disaster I'll check with the pastor For pure Holy Water I search!
Listen, Suz, if you don't learn how to actually post your wonderful stuff, I may ban you from my blog! It's not fair to the casual reader to miss out on your verses!
Whatsa matter? Don't these readers ever read the comments?! Let 'em bloody well find me in the comments. Talk about doing things in half measures! Sheesh!
I knew it! I knew you'd be juggling with your ethics to grab first prize! (psycho!) Anyhow, my comment to yesterday's lovely poem suggested (and predicted) I'd be needing a cardiologist or proctologist; looks like I'll be needing both.
ReplyDeleteThis is worse than a porn magazine
With the filthiest pics ever seen
Your really crass verse
Is fifty times worse
Than a raging-hormone-ridden teen.
I feel like a nun in a whorehouse
My soul is approaching the poorhouse
Old St. Peter will say
I shall starve ev'ry day
I'll be lucky to eat like a dormouse.
The devil has just bought your soul
And he chewed out a bottomless hole
Which leads to a cell
In a prison called Hell
Where you'll never be out on parole.
I think you should go see a shrink
You've been playing too much with your dink
Just don't let your neighbors
See fruits of your labors
They're bound to throw you in the clink!
Never thought I'd go back to a church
Upon one of the pews shall I perch
To avoid a disaster
I'll check with the pastor
For pure Holy Water I search!
S.H.
What ethics?
ReplyDeleteListen, Suz, if you don't learn how to actually post your wonderful stuff, I may ban you from my blog! It's not fair to the casual reader to miss out on your verses!
Whatsa matter? Don't these readers ever read the comments?! Let 'em bloody well find me in the comments. Talk about doing things in half measures! Sheesh!
DeleteS.H.
Very impressive, Suzanne.
ReplyDelete