Wednesday, November 11, 2015

OP224. Drink every drop

Suzanne wanted me to do a limerick with "swallow" in it.  She may be rethinking that now.

I say oral sex is quite hollow
If my partner refuses to swallow

If the ink from my dink
Winds up in the sink
There's no furious fucking to follow.


  1. Before all you readers out there start to raise your eyebrows about my promiscuous-looking 'request,' you'd first have to know the story behind it in order to understand it's not what it looks like. I'm (surprisingly?) scrupulous and principled. As for you David, I have one thing to say:

    You've reached the pinnacle of your shock value abilities, outdoing yourself once again. I can just see that evil smile, and hear that evil laugh rumbling from the bowels of your inner dungeon. Okay... okay...

    Preach a story of how I'm deprived
    Reach for gory heights - now I'm revived!
    I know that your mind
    Counts as 'filthiest kind'
    Kiss my butt, boy, there's worse I've survived!

    There, and to boot, I did an acrostic in your honour.


  2. Very nice. I love what you did with the first two lines, especially. And well done to make it acrostic, too.

    Actually, what happened was, she said she found Phil's "One hundred and thirty-eight" limerick hard to swallow. I remarked that given the limerick's content, that may not have been the right word. (Although, maybe it was exactly the right word...). I said it may spawn a limerick, then added that since I mentioned it she'd be expecting one. Then she said she was. My above limerick is the result. So, she didn't exactly ask for it, but...anyway, that's the context.

  3. The "138 Limerick" consisted of Nos. 1843-1844, posted on 9/21/15. Monthly archives are along the right side of every page.

  4. Saying that the "138 Limerick" was hard to swallow was in no way a criticism. David sent a naughty sheep joke which he said might prompt a desire to shower (and therefore cleanse myself) after reading it. I said it didn't affect me at all because there were no graphic details to create a visual. I said that the "138 Limerick" however, was detailed, graphic, (and might I add, wildly creative), so I found it "hard to swallow", or hard to not let it affect me. Great shock value, though!


  5. Phil, you'd like the sheep joke.

    Q: How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?
    A: Very satisfying!

  6. That used to be an elephant joke (but they were WAY before your time.)

    Q. How do elephants find each other in the dark?
    A. Delightful!

    Actually, I'm more partial to the sheep spoonerism found with my #1553 from December 2014. Whoever came up with it was bril, I'd say!

  7. The only spoonerism joke that comes to mind at the moment for me is this:

    Q: What's the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
    A: One is a cunning runt...

    OP209 (9/10/15) has a spoonerism in it, though; you probably know which one it is without looking for it.

  8. Golly, I never stop learning something new on this site. "Spoonerism". I had to look it up. I've seen (and told) spooneristic riddles before, but I never knew there was a name for it. Thanks for the lesson, Phil. Sorry for the neologistic (another word I learned from Phil) word, but I had no other alternative. But who knows? Maybe "spooneristic" does exist. Now I'm going to impose upon you with one...

    Q: What's the difference between a girl that comes out of church and a girl that comes out of the bathtub?
    A: One has her soul full of hope and the other has her...

    okay, I should let you fill in the blanks...


  9. The limerick in PD34 from May, 2012 is based on a "Spoonie." You will find several more there (mostly in the comments.)

  10. Aaargh! I duplicated! Well bite me! That means I'd better read the entire blog archive before posting/ quoting someone else's material. Thanks for the head's-up. though.


  11. Reading all 1930 posts (but since several have multiple limericks, there are a WHOLE lot more than 2100 verses) is not a pre-requisite, S.H. Hell, I've even been known to duplicate my own entries!!

    Since I now know you like spoonerisms, I just made one up:

    Q. What's the diff. between country bumpkin milk producers and hirsute penises?

    Surely all readers of this can get the answers.

  12. Hahahahahahahaha!, good one! One is a set of dairy hicks...


  13. Figures, in the limerick, she's sweet, but it's hollow, where there could have been heat if she'd swallow.

    Don't feel bad, Suzanne, my cunning runts one was also there, although the question was different. In fairness, I wasn't even here yet in May 2012. And I have busted Phil on a duplicate here before, so I can attest to that.

    If you haven't seen OP225 yet, you may enjoy it. It's also a contest entry this week.

  14. Yes, I saw OP225; now THAT took a lot of brain work. You had to fuse together: the spoonerism, the rhyming, proper meter, making it logical enough to make 2 different scenarios relate to each other, AND make it entertaining. And you pulled it off! Brilliant move!


  15. Glad you enjoyed it. It's actually my second spoonerism limerick, but in this one I made use of a whole joke. I've already mentioned where the other one is, and it's pretty good.