If you've been reading recent comments you know that there is an unofficial competition between David Reddekopp and me to see who can write the least-socially-redeeming limerick. I'm reminded of a wonderful joke, told me by America's funniest and most-talented wordsmith, Richard Lederer.
A guy entered a dirty limerick contest with a $1,000 prize for the filthiest one. He wrote a really nasty
one -- just
disgusting -- and sent
it in but it didn't win.
Incredulous that someone could have written a limerick that was even dirtier than his, he called the sponsor of the contest to make sure his own submission had been received. "Oh, yes," said the man, "and it came in 2nd but there was only one prize."
"Yes, I know that, but I just can't believe mine lost! Would you mind mailing me a copy of the winning entry?"
"No way! If the postal authorities got their hands on it, I'd surely be imprisoned!"
"Well, then, read it to me over the phone."
"Gosh, no! Someone might be listening in and they'd report me!"
"Well, can you at least give me some idea of its filthiness?"
"How about I read you the least-offensive word, but then hang up quickly so this call can't be traced. Are you ready?
"Shoot."
"OK... here goes.
Duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-DUH
Duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-DUH
Duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-DUH,
Duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-DUH,
Duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-CUNT."
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