Limericks of three varieties: Clean, Suggestive, and Filthy! The ones in red
are R- to X-rated. Those with numeric-only labels are my own, those labeled "OP" are from Other Posters, and the ones with "PD" labels are in the Public Domain. You may email me at limericist@cox.net.
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
2165. How to leave your Hamlet
A man from Cape Town named Gerard Once plugged up his asshole with lard Tryin' to fart through that grease; he Blew to the Zambezi Yes, hoist with Gerard's own petard!
Act3, Sceneiv (w/o Gerard...)
Hey Shakespeare! In the name of feminine decency, I tried my best not to laugh at this creative, kooky smut, but I confess, I broke down and let loose. You have a way. don't you!?
Whenever I see the word 'petard,' it brings back memories of when I was in Bogota for a year (I was in my late teens), doing my high school correspondence courses. One assignment in my Creative Writing course required me to write a short story using uncommon, rarely-used words. With no library or English language bookstore in town, all I was armed with was a small, old Oxford dictionary. I found a word that was only defined as bombing a door open, from which I made the sentence, "The cops proceeded to petard the door down". When my teacher marked my work and sent it back, he wrote, "I don't know what dictionary you were using, but 'petard' mostly means to pass gas, so the cops must have eaten a lot of beans the night before." Not sure why the teacher took 'to pass gas' as his primary reference point for the word's definition, but that's what he wrote. I thought at the time, hey, you could take the sentence I wrote in 2 different ways, then.
Hey Shakespeare! In the name of feminine decency, I tried my best not to laugh at this creative, kooky smut, but I confess, I broke down and let loose. You have a way. don't you!?
ReplyDeleteWhenever I see the word 'petard,' it brings back memories of when I was in Bogota for a year (I was in my late teens), doing my high school correspondence courses. One assignment in my Creative Writing course required me to write a short story using uncommon, rarely-used words. With no library or English language bookstore in town, all I was armed with was a small, old Oxford dictionary. I found a word that was only defined as bombing a door open, from which I made the sentence, "The cops proceeded to petard the door down". When my teacher marked my work and sent it back, he wrote, "I don't know what dictionary you were using, but 'petard' mostly means to pass gas, so the cops must have eaten a lot of beans the night before." Not sure why the teacher took 'to pass gas' as his primary reference point for the word's definition, but that's what he wrote. I thought at the time, hey, you could take the sentence I wrote in 2 different ways, then.