Limericks of three varieties: Clean, Suggestive, and Filthy! The ones in red
are R- to X-rated. Those with numeric-only labels are my own, those labeled "OP" are from Other Posters, and the ones with "PD" labels are in the Public Domain. You may email me at limericist@cox.net.
Friday, December 9, 2016
2323. Wait for it...
A woman with beautiful hooters Counts all men in town as her rooters By refusing a ring She makes every guy sing Yes, she's expert at beating off suitors.
What a coinkydink! A few days ago, I wrote a limerick similar to yours above that also included the words 'hooters' and 'suitors' but it has 3 verses. It's part of Mad's limerick contest, using the word 'ice.' (As an experiment, this week we are allowed to use the word of the week in lines 3 and 4 instead of 1, 2 and 5. We may do it one way or the other, it's optional) My limerick is actually a reply to Ken Gosse's limerick (he's a fellow contestant), which is actually a reply to a limerick I wrote prior to that. So if I write my 'hooters-suitors' verse, it will only make sense if I start the story at the beginning, so here goes nothing...
I said:
The guests arrived! Dread has me filled For the wine I will serve is not chilled Someone gave me advice To just add some crushed ice That should make it quite nice; now I'm thrilled!
Oh, but now I'm concerned it's diluted The idea is so convoluted Well, it now matters none That's because everyone Drank a lot, had some fun, got polluted!
Then Ken Gosse wrote:
Grapes Without Wrath - [thanks to Suzanne's post above]
Fine wine is all right when you dine, But when partyin' long after 9, Buy a box and some straws, Even barrels with flaws, Or just let your guests chew on a vine.
Then I replied, saying:
Please invite me out to your next party Your strange ways to imbibe seem quite hearty Drinking cold is real nice So have plenty of ice Even snow would suffice, you ole smarty!
If you want things to really get stranger Drinking games are a big rearranger Serve up nice Jell-O shooters By hooters on scooters But if they have suitors, there's danger!
Now if things get too wild and insane It's a strain and a pain to contain Even ice cannot fizzle The fire that may sizzle Well, how 'bout a drizzle of rain?
Poppycock! Nonsense! Though I appreciate what you're saying, I don't agree with it. You're just as good, if not better. You sell yourself short, and it's a sad pity.
What a coinkydink! A few days ago, I wrote a limerick similar to yours above that also included the words 'hooters' and 'suitors' but it has 3 verses. It's part of Mad's limerick contest, using the word 'ice.' (As an experiment, this week we are allowed to use the word of the week in lines 3 and 4 instead of 1, 2 and 5. We may do it one way or the other, it's optional) My limerick is actually a reply to Ken Gosse's limerick (he's a fellow contestant), which is actually a reply to a limerick I wrote prior to that. So if I write my 'hooters-suitors' verse, it will only make sense if I start the story at the beginning, so here goes nothing...
ReplyDeleteI said:
The guests arrived! Dread has me filled
For the wine I will serve is not chilled
Someone gave me advice
To just add some crushed ice
That should make it quite nice; now I'm thrilled!
Oh, but now I'm concerned it's diluted
The idea is so convoluted
Well, it now matters none
That's because everyone
Drank a lot, had some fun, got polluted!
Then Ken Gosse wrote:
Grapes Without Wrath -
[thanks to Suzanne's post above]
Fine wine is all right when you dine,
But when partyin' long after 9,
Buy a box and some straws,
Even barrels with flaws,
Or just let your guests chew on a vine.
Then I replied, saying:
Please invite me out to your next party
Your strange ways to imbibe seem quite hearty
Drinking cold is real nice
So have plenty of ice
Even snow would suffice, you ole smarty!
If you want things to really get stranger
Drinking games are a big rearranger
Serve up nice Jell-O shooters
By hooters on scooters
But if they have suitors, there's danger!
Now if things get too wild and insane
It's a strain and a pain to contain
Even ice cannot fizzle
The fire that may sizzle
Well, how 'bout a drizzle of rain?
Now I recall why I dropped out of Mad's constests. Too much better competition!
ReplyDeletePoppycock! Nonsense! Though I appreciate what you're saying, I don't agree with it. You're just as good, if not better. You sell yourself short, and it's a sad pity.
ReplyDelete