Wednesday, March 27, 2013

OP90-95. O Canada!

Okay, I'll finish this cross country tour off:

There once was a man, an Albertan
Who'd be found sitting at the bar, flirtin'
With a girl who walked by
But this angered her guy
Every bone in his body's now hurtin'.

Alberta.  This one wasn't even dirty.

There once was a man from Laval
Who was trying to screw with his gal
But when under her hood
He wasn't so good
She said "dans le lit, vous etes tres mal."

Quebec.  She's saying he's bad in bed.

There once was a Muslim, a Newfie
Not Sunni, not Shiite, but Sufi
And although his religion
Was against this decision
He still slipped his girlfriend a roofie.

Newfoundland.  And see, I don't only pick on the Christians.

There once was a man from Halifax
Whose girlfriend was a very cute gal, in fact
But her bottom drawer can
Make him feel less a man
She said "yes, all my toys are phallic, Max."

Nova Scotia down.  So is he, I bet.

I know a young girl from New Brunswick
Who is not satisfied with just one dick
She's not happy until
There's no hole left to fill
And what happens from there makes the nuns sick.

New Brunswick, of course.

I know a man, he's PEI's
He buys the girls drinks, tells them lies

But they laugh out of shock
When they look at his cock
Like his province, long name, but small size.

Prince Edward Island, the tiniest province in Canada.

And that's all of them.


  1. Very well done, Dave! Of this group, I think I like P.E.I. the best. Laval didn't ring a bell so I googled and found you used it to cover Quebec.

    Did you leave out your home province or did I overlook it somewhere way back? If I'm right that there are ten Provinces and three Territories, I can only find these twelve:

    New Brunswick

    and the following cities
    Vancouver (B.C.)
    Toronto (Ontario)
    Yellowknife (N.W. Territories)
    Winnipeg (Manitoba)
    Laval (Quebec)
    Halifax (Nova Scotia)

    If Saskatchewan ISN'T posted, here's a weak attempt from me:

    A man up in old Saskatoon
    Tried to fuck in a hot-air balloon.
    The heat of the gas
    Really reddened his ass
    And made him look like a baboon.

    1. My memory is too short! I found your "OP45 - Pining for Prairie Pussy" way back on 9/26/12 in which Saskatchewan gets coverage. Looks as if you've covered all thirteen after all -- good work!

  2. Saskatchewan has actually been represented twice. "Bareback Riding" (OP41 I think) is about a woman from Morse, which is a small town about 40-50 km away from my hometown of Swift Current.

    I like your supposedly weak attempt.

    I thought most of these up last night. I think I had the Newfoundland one a bit earlier.

    You're getting close to a milestone. So are the OPs, actually; I have one I'm saving for #100 if I'm not beaten to it. I'm kinda planning to time it around when you hit #1000 as well.

    1. I guess I didn't know Morse code.

      May I post mine on Saskatoon? I don't know how often readers check comments so it should be relatively "new."

      Hey, if you have a keeper to use as #OP100 I'd better get busy writing a top-notch one for my "mille stone."

  3. I assumed you already had something in mind.

    It's your site and your limerick, you don't need my permission.

    I can see how you wouldn't have known where Morse was, there's probably only a few hundred people there. Why would you know some random small town in Saskatchewan?