Tuesday, June 28, 2016

OP283-287. The Vagina Monologues

A gay man whose hair was quite bushy
Knew everyone called him a wuss. He
Had resilience resounding
Took plenty of pounding

(Not so much unlike your mom's pussy)

A lady who's laid a whole lot
With no condom, will wish she had not

If you let them all hit
Without covering it
Then you're simply a twit with a twat

I think I may have to be blunt
For a woman thinks it's an affront
With this word thrust upon her
To me, there is honor

In having (not being) a cunt

My woman and I are a match
She is an incredible catch
And the sex is just right
(Though a little bit tight)

So I always will snatch at her snatch

I'll date her, I'll wine her, I'll dine her

But to fuck her, my friend, nothing's finer
Though something smells fishy
No straight man would wish he
Weren't balls deep inside her vagina.

Sorry for the L1 near-rhyme - pussy is a hard word to rhyme.


  1. Holy mackerel! (no pun intended... well maybe) Your crazy mind has just ejaculated, er, ejected this massive wave of insane creativity (or is that creative insanity?)You certainly have, er, are nuts!

    The prude in me is saying: "That is an udderly, er, utterly, shocking description of invulva, er, involvement of the female anatomy! Have you no shame? Sperm me, er, spare me the gory details! Soak your head! (the one on your shoulders... on the other hand... soak 'em all... in cold water!) And I heard there's a good there I pissed, er, therapist near where you live, in Vagina, er, Regina, Sask."

    The tramp in me is saying: "Where have you been all my life?"

  2. I know exactly what you mean about trying to rhyme 'pussy,' Dave, so you're forgiven for 'bushy.'

    Great set of stanzas. In your 2nd one, you employed the same technique as Suz did by putting 'twit' in the center of L5 to match with 'hit' and 'it.'

    My blog has been left in good hands! Keep 'em coming.

    1. I have done it before, but yes, it is a technique Suzanne uses more often. And it's a good one. It wasn't just intended to rhyme with L3 and L4 of that stanza, but I wanted the "twit" and "twat" together like that.

    2. Oh, and it was five stanzas in no small part because I wanted to guarantee I'd be the one to do OP288. I'd been sitting on that one for a little bit.

    3. Finally, I know my last line, as well as my first, is technically a near-rhyme too. I didn't want to go with a place name, though, like in my Saskatchewan limerick from way back (OP45, 9/26/12).

  3. You certainly needn't apologize for writing 5 stanzas so you'd end up with #288, Dave. None of the five felt like filler to me!

    Dine her, finer, vagina are forgivable for the same reason 'bushy' can go with 'pussy' (for more than one reason.) There just aren't enough rhyme pairs. 'Cunt' is less of an affront to our poetic abilities (to be blunt.)

    I'd have probably gone with 'vaginer,' but that's just me.