257-263. Seven to tide you over

I will be back posting on 10/16.

An unfortunate woman named Jane
Each month suffered pre-menstrual pain.
Her husband would hide all
Her bottles of Midol
And beat her with whips and a chain.

A man whose real name was Joaquin
Was a show-offy cross-dressing queen.
He called himself "Sharon"
And wore Donna Karan,
On dates what he did was obscene.

A desperate fellow named Freddy
Asked a nine-year-old girl to go steady.
She turned him down cold
Because she wasn't old
Enough.  Also, she just wasn't ready.

An out-doorsy rascal named Lew
Laid a willing young maid in the dew.
Her name had been Sonia
(She died of pneumonia)
A helluva price for a screw.

A good-looking cocksman named Mack
Is world-renowned in the sack.
His marvelous powers
Let Mack fuck for hours
Both topside and flat on his back.

A horny teen-ager named Lloyd,
Masturbation thrice-daily employed.
When he'd get that odd feeling
His wads hit the ceiling.
His mother was highly annoyed.

A man went out looking for snatch
His intent to get all he could catch.
Found nineteen or twenty
Which seemed to him plenty
And one by one, fucked the whole batch.