Limericks of three varieties: Clean, Suggestive, and Filthy! The ones in red
are R- to X-rated. Those with numeric-only labels are my own, those labeled "OP" are from Other Posters, and the ones with "PD" labels are in the Public Domain. You may email me at limericist@cox.net.
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
OP440. Getting down and dirty
I know of a fellow named Joe Who is proud of his garden, although His wife, she will tell us She's really quite jealous - He spends all his time with his hoe.
You punsters! You're such fungi's! I just dig your bloomin' crop of hybrid seedy puns, from which laughter germinates, grows and flourishes. I'm lichen it every time your artichokes and puns catch me off garden I soil my pansies! I'm transplanted into a shady world of blossoming weeds of wisdom, my fertilizer staring and rooted in impatiens. It leaves me on the ground laughing my aster off, barely catching my baby's breath, left in a daisy, for peat's sake!
Yes, at root I'm a punster. But I'm well grounded. And I ain't no shrinking violet. Weed not want that. My pollen says you'd vote for me to continue, so I'll bee doing this until I'm pushing up daisies.
I am not making this up. Ken Jennings during his JEOPARDY! dominance had a huge money lead over both opponents when he selected "Tool Time" for $200 whose answer was, "This term for a long-handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker." Jennings incorrectly (intentionally?) responded, "What is a hoe?" It took Alex Trebek and the studio audience a second to comprehend the humor before a competitor properly queried, "What is a rake?"
Welcome back to Limerick Central! Your clever rhymes have been sorely missed.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for this limerick, I'd have expected no less from a rake like yourself. Please post several mower.
ReplyDeleteYou don't beat around the bush, do you? I'll try and plant a few more here.
ReplyDeleteI call a spade a spade, David. Lemme ax you, don't you think it adze something to awl these otherwise plane limericks? Besides, it helps me cope.
ReplyDeleteYou punsters! You're such fungi's! I just dig your bloomin' crop of hybrid seedy puns, from which laughter germinates, grows and flourishes. I'm lichen it every time your artichokes and puns catch me off garden I soil my pansies! I'm transplanted into a shady world of blossoming weeds of wisdom, my fertilizer staring and rooted in impatiens. It leaves me on the ground laughing my aster off, barely catching my baby's breath, left in a daisy, for peat's sake!
ReplyDeleteYes, at root I'm a punster. But I'm well grounded. And I ain't no shrinking violet. Weed not want that. My pollen says you'd vote for me to continue, so I'll bee doing this until I'm pushing up daisies.
ReplyDelete(Nectar? I barely knew her!)
I am not making this up. Ken Jennings during his JEOPARDY! dominance had a huge money lead over both opponents when he selected "Tool Time" for $200 whose answer was, "This term for a long-handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker." Jennings incorrectly (intentionally?) responded, "What is a hoe?" It took Alex Trebek and the studio audience a second to comprehend the humor before a competitor properly queried, "What is a rake?"
ReplyDelete