Limericks of three varieties: Clean, Suggestive, and Filthy! The ones in red
are R- to X-rated. Those with numeric-only labels are my own, those labeled "OP" are from Other Posters, and the ones with "PD" labels are in the Public Domain. You may email me at limericist@cox.net.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
OP257. Dinner AND dessert
Okay, this one's just nasty.
I once met a whore in New York On her period. Paid her to pork And what poured from her poon I would eat with a spoon But I ate all the crabs with a fork.
Nasty, you say? That's an understatement! How did I get here? I can't believe I'm party to this boys' club humor. Scary thought. What's even scarier, is that I've come to accept it. What's even more horrifyingly scary, is that I've come to appreciate it. What's happening to me?
I need to add something else to avoid any misgivings as to my sanity and sense of decency. Remember a few months back when you and Phil were competing for the title of the 'most gross limerick written'? Well, your OP257 makes all your past verses and Phil's past verses look like excerpts taken from Mother Goose. You're now the Champion of Gross (wish I had a little trophy for you, but it would probably be a bronzed turd) Sorry Phil, you're just the runner-up. Hey, don't feel bad - only psychopaths could come up with such twisted material as David's handiwork above. It's okay David - tongue in cheek; you still have brownie points for creativity!
"Please, sir, I want some more." (What the Dickens, that must have been gruel-ing for you.)
ReplyDeleteNot "just nasty" Dave, it's "good and nasty!" I like the alliteration of p's. Tell us, did she pee for you, too?
Perhaps...
DeleteNasty, you say? That's an understatement! How did I get here? I can't believe I'm party to this boys' club humor. Scary thought. What's even scarier, is that I've come to accept it. What's even more horrifyingly scary, is that I've come to appreciate it. What's happening to me?
ReplyDeleteJust as we planned it.
DeleteI need to add something else to avoid any misgivings as to my sanity and sense of decency. Remember a few months back when you and Phil were competing for the title of the 'most gross limerick written'? Well, your OP257 makes all your past verses and Phil's past verses look like excerpts taken from Mother Goose. You're now the Champion of Gross (wish I had a little trophy for you, but it would probably be a bronzed turd) Sorry Phil, you're just the runner-up. Hey, don't feel bad - only psychopaths could come up with such twisted material as David's handiwork above. It's okay David - tongue in cheek; you still have brownie points for creativity!
ReplyDeleteBrown something, anyway.
DeleteOne of those limericks was a shit-eating verse.
You could give me a gold medal. I'll get it bronzed.
Better yet, how about a gold-plated turd?
Delete