558. Just as I feared

I've stooped to plagiarizing Edward Lear, or at least being influenced by him, to wit:
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said 'It is just as I feared! -
     Two Owls and a Hen,
     Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'

Here's mine:
There once was a man, very queer,
Who had shoved many things in his rear --
A pencil, a glove,
A shoe horn, a dove,
And a cold longneck bottle of beer.