Wednesday, October 14, 2015

1866. Mammorial

My wife shan't be laid to her rest
We've agreed that cremation is best
I wrote this: "Undertaker,
Before you should bake 'er
One thing -- will you keep me abreast?"


  1. The title just couldn't be better
    The best, right down to the last letter
    It's funny as hell
    As the reader can tell
    Just by the last word, can't forget her.

    I'm sending your poem through my city
    To funeral homes full of pity
    They must have a tumor
    If they've got no humor
    'Cause YOUR lim'rick's better than witty.

    With all due respect to each mourner
    It's not to be thrown in their corner
    Employees, at best
    Who all get depressed
    Need relief, not the grief of a scorner.

    (dang it, this happens a lot - I write with the intention of only writing one verse, but if I can't complete my message all in one verse, I end up writing another, then another... just can't make a long story short!)


  2. Please don't even try, Suzanne! I LOVE multi-stanza ones. You must go back to April of 2013 and read Nos. 996-1000.

    Here come some 'dreaded Pheal couplets':

    I don't mind verse
    Which isn't terse.

    And what is worse,
    Feel free to curse!

    1. Your 5-stanza piece, 'What a grand time I've had' is just splendid! Loved the story line and the last line, hehehe! Not only that, the limericks in the comment section by you and David were great too!

      Liked your 'dreaded Pheal couplets' too (great triple pun right there). You say 'feel free to curse'. I hesitate on that one. Do you know of any female who wrote one that's rude, lewd and crewd? I know I haven't. Somehow it seems perfectly fine , even appropriate, for men to let 'er rip, but ladies? (the name ladies would be changed in a hurry if that happened) I'll have to ponder that one.


    2. I've had some multi-stanza ones on here as well. Check out OP186-190, from July 24 of this year. It's rather filthy; it's an old blowjob joke I turned into a limerick.

    3. I clicked onto July`s OP186-190, and the comment before your poem said it was based on a Christopher Hitchens joke. So, rather than continuing on to read your limericks, I first looked up Christopher Hitchens jokes till I found it. Since you said it involved a BJ, it wasn`t hard to find the right one. So I listened to it and then read your multi-stanza version to see if it stayed true to the story (yeah, I`m a bitch) and I have just one word to describe your piece - flawless. Right down to the last line.

      I`m not really filthy-minded by nature, but I know if I throw off my high heels and stockings long enough to put myself in your and Phil`s shoes, walk and muck around in the pigpen a bit, I can understand it from a perspective other than my own, and appreciate its artistic merit. Well done!


    4. Hitchens was more well known as a columnist for Vanity Fair and an outspoken and very eloquent atheist who didn't have time for bullshit. But yes, he did have a good sense of humor.

      I think he tells the joke better than I do, but he doesn't confine it to limerick form. That's one of those ones I'm quite proud of, actually, and thanks for the compliment. I kinda had to drag it out like that because the joke itself is dragged out like that.

  3. Crude, not crewd! Aaargh!