There once was a faddist of Devon
Who said, "I have raped only seven
Young women to date,
But soon 'twill be eight
And shortly thereafter eleven."
There was a young lady of Gloucester
Whose friends were afraid they had lost her
'Til they found on the grass
The marks of her ass
And the knees of the man who had crossed her.
I dined with Lord Hughing Fitz-Bluing
Who asked, "Do you squirm when you're screwing?"
I replied, "Simple shagging
Without any wagging
Should only be done whilst canoeing."
There once was a girl from Aberystwyth
Who took corn to the mill to make grist with
The miller's son, Jack,
Laid her flat on her back
And united the organs they pissed with.
An organist playing in York
Had a prick that could hold a small fork
And between obbligatos
He'd munch at tomatoes
To keep up his strength while at work.
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