Monday, August 24, 2015

1802. Here's to sweeter meter

i LIKE reading LIM'ricks a LOT
eSPEcially WHEN they've a PLOT
But THOSE that don't SCAN
ought be THROWN in the CAN
(also KNOWN as the PORcelain POT.)

Happily, no one in here needs this but several posters at Mad Kane's and Reddit do.


  1. There are many at Mad's I applaud
    But most of the ones that are flawed
    Come from someone named Lisi
    Good meter's so easy
    It seems she's not trying. How odd.

    Seriously, every week, she sends in like ten and none of them scan.

  2. I double-dog dare you to post that one at Mad's, Dave!! :)

    It's a lot more than 10. One week she submitted over 30 of her embarrassments, I suppose thinking that the winners are drawn out of a hopper like ping pong balls in Powerball! Maybe that's an apt comparison -- her chances of ever being recognized are about the same!

    And what's up with her now posting as two different people (diff. last names, anyway?)

  3. I haven't a clue. The name may be different, but the form is just as bad.

    In fairness, it isn't just Lisi; she's just the most egregious offender. I usually try reading all the entries so I know what I'm up against, and if there are any other really clever ones, and there usually are. Hers I just skim over by now. She's been submitting for months at least and hasn't learned a thing about meter. It's frustrating.

    It's one thing when someone is new to limerick writing, and you can tell they're trying but they're just a little bit off. It's quite another when you've been doing it for a while, doing it haphazardly, and either not caring or being totally oblivious to the fact that you're just way the hell off. I can't understand how it's fun to write a continuous string of bad pseudo-limericks. If I didn't think I had some talent at this I'd have given up long ago, probably before I knew you, never mind anyone at Mad's site.

    I don't want to be mean, but facts are facts. I'd be perfectly fine if her limericks were actually limericks, and not just jumbled atrocities of scansion.

  4. As for the winners, they are a bit arbitrary, as they're basically which ones Mad likes best, but it's her damn site and we all know that going in. But it's not random like the lottery. Because then there'd be a lot of shit verses in the Honorable Mention every week.

    But who knows, even a blind squirrel finds a nut, so maybe Lisi will stumble upon a verse that actually scans. All things considered, maybe she should get an HM just for that, when it happens.

    1. I won't hold my breath re: an HM for Lisi! However, you're right, she isn't the only hack who shows up every week.

      I will probably keep entering but so long as Brian Allgar, Will T. Laughlin, Fred Boortz and you keep submitting, I will probably never get beyond an HM.

      Maybe if I were allowed to include my punny titles, I could win some week. I've said it before but they may be the best part of my blog.

    2. You could try, anyway, with the titles. And, of course, there are other eminently talented poets over there.

      I've never gotten beyond an HM myself. However, I've only been at it over there for what, a couple of months? And you said you were only there a few weeks longer than me. There's still lots of time. Some weeks are easier than others. I found "pot" easier than "stew" or "dash", this week's word. What's with all the cooking words, anyway?