My lim'ricks now seem somewhat cruddy
A sexual session
Might lend inspiration;
Suzanne, would you be my fuck buddy?
She's my only regular female reader... and I write this?!
Suzanne Heymann here...
OP237-240. Reply to #1976
I sprayed it out all over me
When I read the last line
Of your lim'rick, you swine
I could just see you grinning with glee!
Well, you certainly do have the guts
To post this in public; you're nuts!
What am I gonna do
With impossible you?
I've been cornered, no ifs, ands, or butts.
Your request puts you in a tight spot
And your fantasy does diddly squat --
2000 miles plus
All but separate us
The hot plot that you sought is all shot.
Shock treatments might help you in bed
(But somehow I received one instead)
A sex therapist ought
To help where I cannot
To move on -- you just might get a head.
Since he asked you to fuck openly
ReplyDeleteEven I'm a bit shocked, but, you see
I don't care what you do
That's between him and you
I'm just thankful he didn't ask me!
Now THAT's funny (and you needn't worry, Dave.)
ReplyDeleteLet's be clear - if you're queer, that's okay
ReplyDeleteBut please do not ask me to play
I'm not one for the boys
I won't play with their toys
Stay away with that noise. I'm not gay.
I wrote, "Do not worry, friend Dave"
ReplyDeleteAnd yet you came on with your rave
Can't take 'No' for an answer?
I'm no tutu dancer
Forget about being my slave.
(Or making me yours!)
Naw, BDSM ain't my thing.
ReplyDeleteGot pent-up frustrations? Release 'em!
ReplyDeleteWhat you two really need is a threesome
But don't count me in
I'd just sit there and grin
While the three of you move your parts. Grease 'em!
Hell, I might even videotape it
Your fans -- they will all want to ape it
If your names I besmirch
You'll just have to quit church
It's the curse of the urge, can't escape it!
Is "BDSM" where we got the term, 'pussy whipped?'
ReplyDeleteA masochist ran up to a sadist and said, "Hit me! Hit me!"
The sadist thought a second and said, "No."