Wednesday, February 3, 2016

1976. Calliope catastrophe

The poetry muse has grown muddy
My lim'ricks now seem somewhat cruddy
A sexual session
Might lend inspiration;
Suzanne, would you be my fuck buddy?

She's my only regular female reader... and I write this?!

Suzanne Heymann here...

OP237-240. Reply to #1976

Well, I choked and coughed drinking my tea
I sprayed it out all over me
When I read the last line
Of your lim'rick, you swine
I could just see you grinning with glee!

Well, you certainly do have the guts
To post this in public; you're nuts!
What am I gonna do
With impossible you?
I've been cornered, no ifs, ands, or butts.

Your request puts you in a tight spot
And your fantasy does diddly squat --
2000 miles plus
All but separate us
The hot plot that you sought is all shot.

Shock treatments might help you in bed
(But somehow I received one instead)
A sex therapist ought
To help where I cannot
To move on -- you just might get a head.


  1. Since he asked you to fuck openly
    Even I'm a bit shocked, but, you see
    I don't care what you do
    That's between him and you
    I'm just thankful he didn't ask me!

  2. Now THAT's funny (and you needn't worry, Dave.)

  3. Let's be clear - if you're queer, that's okay
    But please do not ask me to play
    I'm not one for the boys
    I won't play with their toys
    Stay away with that noise. I'm not gay.

  4. I wrote, "Do not worry, friend Dave"
    And yet you came on with your rave
    Can't take 'No' for an answer?
    I'm no tutu dancer
    Forget about being my slave.
    (Or making me yours!)

  5. Got pent-up frustrations? Release 'em!
    What you two really need is a threesome
    But don't count me in
    I'd just sit there and grin
    While the three of you move your parts. Grease 'em!

    Hell, I might even videotape it
    Your fans -- they will all want to ape it
    If your names I besmirch
    You'll just have to quit church
    It's the curse of the urge, can't escape it!

  6. Is "BDSM" where we got the term, 'pussy whipped?'

    A masochist ran up to a sadist and said, "Hit me! Hit me!"

    The sadist thought a second and said, "No."