PD296-299. Oldies but goodies

There was a young lady from Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light
        She went out one day
        In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

There was a young girl from Peru,
Who noticed her lovers were few
        So she walked out her door
        With a fig leaf, no more,
And now she's in bed - with the flu.

There was a young fellow named Hatch
Who was fond of the music of Bach
        He said: "It's not fussy
        Like Brahms and Debussy;
Sit down, and I'll play you a snatch."

There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez
        When comment arose
        On the state of her clothes
She, drawled, "When ah itchez, ah scratchez."