Limericks of three varieties: Clean, Suggestive, and Filthy! The ones in red
are R- to X-rated. Those with numeric-only labels are my own, those labeled "OP" are from Other Posters, and the ones with "PD" labels are in the Public Domain. You may email me at limericist@cox.net.
Monday, October 24, 2016
2273. From lad to verse
In my youth, I was known for virility But a more apt term now is 'senility' Unlike earlier times Now just write puns and rhymes; My wife thinks it shows imbecility.
The "-ility" rhyme scheme was exquisitely (and exhaustively) demonstrated in the bridge of Professor Tom Lehrer's post-passionate love song, "When You Are Old and Grey."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NOZH0y7VxE
Since I still appreciate you Let's find love while we may Because I know I'll hate you When you are old and grey
So say you love me here and now I'll make the most of that Say you love and trust me For I know you'll disgust me . . . When you're old and getting fat!
An awful debility A lessened utility A loss of mobility Is a strong possibility In all probability I'll lose my virility And you, your fertility And desirability And this liability Of total sterility Will lead to hostility And a sense of...futility So let's act with agility While we still have facility For we'll soon reach senility And lose the ability . . .
Your teeth will start to go, dear, Your waist will start to spread In twenty years or so, dear, I'll wish that you were dead
I'll never love you then at all The way I do today So, please, remember When I leave in December . . . I told you so in May.
Your senility and imbecility
ReplyDeleteShows that you have a certain ability
Your fan club's not snoring
But rather adoring
We all lack that boring stability.
The "-ility" rhyme scheme was exquisitely (and exhaustively) demonstrated in the bridge of Professor Tom Lehrer's post-passionate love song, "When You Are Old and Grey."
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NOZH0y7VxE
Since I still appreciate you
Let's find love while we may
Because I know I'll hate you
When you are old and grey
So say you love me here and now
I'll make the most of that
Say you love and trust me
For I know you'll disgust me . . .
When you're old and getting fat!
An awful debility
A lessened utility
A loss of mobility
Is a strong possibility
In all probability
I'll lose my virility
And you, your fertility
And desirability
And this liability
Of total sterility
Will lead to hostility
And a sense of...futility
So let's act with agility
While we still have facility
For we'll soon reach senility
And lose the ability . . .
Your teeth will start to go, dear,
Your waist will start to spread
In twenty years or so, dear,
I'll wish that you were dead
I'll never love you then at all
The way I do today
So, please, remember
When I leave in December . . .
I told you so in May.