Monday, October 24, 2016

2273. From lad to verse

In my youth, I was known for virility
But a more apt term now is 'senility'
Unlike earlier times
Now just write puns and rhymes;
My wife thinks it shows imbecility.


  1. Your senility and imbecility
    Shows that you have a certain ability
    Your fan club's not snoring
    But rather adoring
    We all lack that boring stability.

  2. The "-ility" rhyme scheme was exquisitely (and exhaustively) demonstrated in the bridge of Professor Tom Lehrer's post-passionate love song, "When You Are Old and Grey."

    Since I still appreciate you
    Let's find love while we may
    Because I know I'll hate you
    When you are old and grey

    So say you love me here and now
    I'll make the most of that
    Say you love and trust me
    For I know you'll disgust me . . .
    When you're old and getting fat!

    An awful debility
    A lessened utility
    A loss of mobility
    Is a strong possibility
    In all probability
    I'll lose my virility
    And you, your fertility
    And desirability
    And this liability
    Of total sterility
    Will lead to hostility
    And a sense of...futility
    So let's act with agility
    While we still have facility
    For we'll soon reach senility
    And lose the ability . . .

    Your teeth will start to go, dear,
    Your waist will start to spread
    In twenty years or so, dear,
    I'll wish that you were dead

    I'll never love you then at all
    The way I do today
    So, please, remember
    When I leave in December . . .
    I told you so in May.