Monday, November 21, 2011

370. Bad at balling

An NFL runner named James,
Had feelings for both guys and dames.
But this rascal bisexual
Was quite ineffectual
At scoring, regardless of games.


  1. SINUS UP!

    A snotty-nosed halfback named Lucas
    Exudes slimy gobs of green mucus.
    When running his sweeps,
    He'll blow it in heaps
    At our feet--all the better to juke us.

    This next one was inspired by the outcome of the 1978 Orange Bowl, when Oklahoma University was heavily favored over Arkansas after several star Razorback players had been suspended. "Barry's Boys" may have been a bit overconfident; result: Arkansas 31, OU 6.
    (NOTE: I had my poetic license revoked for lines three and four.)

    A quarterback named Thomas Lott
    In the Orange Bowl appeared quite distraught.
    On plays run from scrimmitage
    His yardage was limitage,
    And he often fell down on his bott.

  2. Two excellent ones! The Limericist does have two suggestions: Change "appeared" in line 2 of limerick #2 to "seemed" in order to get perfect anapestic trimeter (la-la-LA la-la-LA la-la-LA) and change line five to
    "And often he fell on his bott" -- also for better rhythm.