PD217-220. The long and the short of it

There was a young man from Salinas
Who had an extremely long penis
Believe it or not
When he lay on his cot
It reached from Marin to Martinez.

There once was a man from Australia
Who had rather large genitalia
He said to his bride,
"Do not try to hide
'Cause wherever you go I can nail ya."

I got this from the fellow what own it:
He declared that he boasted one mo' nut
Than most people sport
But was terribly short
In the part you might stick through a doughnut.

There was a young fellow called Rex
With diminutive organs of sex
Arraigned for exposure
He said with composure,
"De minimis non curat lex". 
[Latin, trans:- "The law is not concerned with trifles."]

2022. Consistently inconsistent

My Sooners have left me in sadness
I hate when they play with such badness
Hield shot 1 for 8
Spangler whiffed free throw late
This team won't go far in March Madness.

The basketball team of my alma mater, Oklahoma University, lost in the semifinals of the Big 12 tournament last night.  'March Madness' is the nickname for the playoffs leading to the national championship.

2021. She hits the sac, then the sack

For returning to dorm early morn
A girl was the object of scorn
She could suck guys off totally
(And that includes scrotally)
She'd learned how from watching much porn.

2020. He made a big-E

For an old gynecologist, Whitt,
Hysterectomy turned to pure shit
He made his incision
But, due to poor vision
She now has a 14-inch slit

2019. Show your Chauvinism

OP254 (below) deserves a retort...  just not this one.

International Men's Day's in Fall
On November 19th have a ball!
Drink, fart, show misogyny,
Cuss both spouse and progeny
Why make the day special at all?

OP254. Brimmin' with Women

International Women's Day - when?
It's today, but won't interest men
That's 'cause men are from Mars
Women? Venus. The stars
And the planets butt heads once again.

2018. Blood sport

A poor housewife went out on the sly
She'd decided her pussy to ply
Her pants needed rinsies
From left-over menses
'Cause Tampax™ cost too much to buy.

2017. Francly frenetic

It's the birthday of Maurice Ravel
His Boléro is boring as hell
But Concerto (G Major)
Is one I would wager
You'll like like a toy from Mattel.
That link in L3 gives you Lang Lang playing the 3rd Mvt., or
hear the whole piece played by Martha Argerich.

2016. I sound blotto, where's Erato?

Wouldn't blame you if you said, "J'accuse!"
After reading this limerick I choose
To exhibit as humor,
My talent's a rumor
When I haven't heard from my muse.

2015. Left-bending beater

I know of a man named McGoffin
Who's lousy when it comes to boffin'
It seems that his wiener
Is quite a left-leaner
From whipping right-handed so often.

2014. Barter in the heart o' Texas

There was an old woman from Waco
Who'd once owned a partial-gold Seiko
Since her car was all faded
The time-piece got traded
To purchase a paint job from Maaco.

2013. Five flawed fellows

The Rubio guy is a twit
Has Ben Carson stayed in or quit?
Cruz sounds like a preacher
While Kasich's a creature
 Of Beltway-ville.  Donald's pure shit.

2011-2012. That's Entertainment

In World War II, they helped us cope
As Catholics, each knew the Pope
With asides (also frontally)
They joked contrapuntally
Golf clubs were what they liked to grope

In road pics, "ski nose" played the dope
Lamour shunned advances with, "Nope!"
From Rio to Bali
They always were pally
I'm speaking of Crosby and Hope.

2010. She can't find it, either

Dr. Gräfenberg claimed it was there
But if you've not rubbed one, don't despair
I've been told it's on top
Guess I fuck like a flop
Either that, or the G-spot is rare.

2009. Æolian ode

The winds have arrived and they parch
Took a walk and they took out my starch
I guess it's expected
And I stand corrected
If this ain't the first day of March.