Limericks of three varieties: Clean, Suggestive, and Filthy! The ones in red
are R- to X-rated. Those with numeric-only labels are my own, those labeled "OP" are from Other Posters, and the ones with "PD" labels are in the Public Domain. You may email me at limericist@cox.net.
Saturday, September 2, 2017
2637. No Frito-Lays for him
A boy in the burg of Bokchito Had a penis the size of a Cheeto Its shape was odd, too, With that same orange hue, Only swelled when bit by a mosquito. Pop. 653
Is it just me (again) or is this limmie bleepin' hilarious?! The visuals are painful, but also painfully funny! Lines 2 and 4 provoked me to get a little political in my responding verse here...
From Bokchito to New York to White House Tiny hands, tiny brain; an alt-right louse A scum bum who's plumb dumb Who just beats his own drum Should be exiled to some remote lighthouse.
However, you've now made MY political juices flow:
Trump thinks that his fandom is yuge But to those in the know, he's a noodge. He's totally selfish With tiny hands elfish And gives out compassion like Scrooge.
Stellar! And you've stuck to the headline of the day, which is Trump's lack of compassion for the hurricane victims. So I'll ride your coattails on that one if you don't mind...
On compassion, Trump lacks moral sense And he can't even fake it! (how dense!) Lack of tears are, no doubt A sure sign of his drought And the farthead was outdone by Pence!
Pence hugged victims and helped move debris A thing with Trump you'll never see! It might have enraged him How Pencey upstaged him I hope it has aged him, teehee!
But I always felt that infallible Phil philanthropically fulfilled the philandering fantasies of his unfaltering, frenzied fans with the fabulous fruits of his laborious, phenomenal funnybone!
I made up this joke in college, but never could make it "snappy." Q: Why didn't the native in Darkest Africa try the evangelist's "missionary position" on his own wife? A: He knew which side of the butt he bred her on.
Hey steve, that was quite clever! I never knew you could be as much of a ribald rapscallion like your brother; I had the impression you were a prudently prudent prude. I grossly misjudged you! (it's just too bad you don't also come with as many prolific poetry tendencies. Pity!)
Is it just me (again) or is this limmie bleepin' hilarious?! The visuals are painful, but also painfully funny! Lines 2 and 4 provoked me to get a little political in my responding verse here...
ReplyDeleteFrom Bokchito to New York to White House
Tiny hands, tiny brain; an alt-right louse
A scum bum who's plumb dumb
Who just beats his own drum
Should be exiled to some remote lighthouse.
Ooooh, Suzanne, you've surpassed mine bigly!
ReplyDeleteHowever, you've now made MY political juices flow:
Trump thinks that his fandom is yuge
But to those in the know, he's a noodge.
He's totally selfish
With tiny hands elfish
And gives out compassion like Scrooge.
Stellar! And you've stuck to the headline of the day, which is Trump's lack of compassion for the hurricane victims. So I'll ride your coattails on that one if you don't mind...
ReplyDeleteOn compassion, Trump lacks moral sense
And he can't even fake it! (how dense!)
Lack of tears are, no doubt
A sure sign of his drought
And the farthead was outdone by Pence!
Pence hugged victims and helped move debris
A thing with Trump you'll never see!
It might have enraged him
How Pencey upstaged him
I hope it has aged him, teehee!
"You win", "Uncle", "Calfrope", "I give", etc., Suz.
ReplyDeleteIt is said that "a wise man knows on which side his bread is buttered." I'm changing it; "a wise man knows this broad is better."
But I always felt that infallible Phil philanthropically fulfilled the philandering fantasies of his unfaltering, frenzied fans with the fabulous fruits of his laborious, phenomenal funnybone!
DeleteI made up this joke in college, but never could make it "snappy."
ReplyDeleteQ: Why didn't the native in Darkest Africa try the evangelist's "missionary position" on his own wife?
A: He knew which side of the butt he bred her on.
Hey steve, that was quite clever! I never knew you could be as much of a ribald rapscallion like your brother; I had the impression you were a prudently prudent prude. I grossly misjudged you! (it's just too bad you don't also come with as many prolific poetry tendencies. Pity!)
DeleteOops, how did that happen? The 'S' in 'Steve' should be capitalized. Sorry!
Delete