As the elevator left our floor
Big Sue caught her chest in the door
She yelled a good deal,
But if they had been real
She’d have hollered consid'rably more.
The hygienic young miss from out west
Asked the cowboy who sat on her chest,
"Will cum cause decay?"
"No, ma'am. I've heard say
It's the secret ingredient of Crest."
Said oul Kate to her crock of a kettle,
"Sure, you're not in the finest of fettle,
But your spout isn't slack
Like my poor husband Jack
Pity his wasn't made out of metal!"
There was a young lady named Alice
Who peed in a Catholic chalice
The Padre agreed
It was done out of need
And not out of Protestant malice.
A businesslike harlot named Draper
Once tried an unusual caper
What made it so nice
Was you got it half-price
If you brought in her ad from the paper.
There once was a woman from France
Who got on the bus in a trance
Six passengers fucked her
Besides the conductor
And the driver shot twice in his pants.
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