1674. Swiss mess

A skier in cold St. Moritz
Came down with a case of the shits
The crowd's mood was solemn
When she did the slalom
And sullied the snow with some bits.

1673. Baltic blooms

There once was a man from Estonia
Who had a bad case of pneumonia
A friend on a visit
Was somewhat inquisit-
ive, asking, "You want a begonia?"

1672. Completing passes

A quarterback got in a fever
When he went off in quest of some beaver
He laughed and he grinned
When he fucked a tight end
Not so much with an old wide receiver.

1671. Struggled to keep this one clean

That Olde English monk, Friar Tuck,
Had never had much prior luck
With the maids in his parish,
Who thought him too garish
And often would say, "My, you're muck!"

1670. Man of the cloth (or maybe Kleenex)

There once was a preacher named Pete
Who encountered two whores on the street
But Peter was loathe
To screw either or both
So he went home and just beat his meat.

1669. Hope she doesn't welsh on our deal

I often had wondered what men did
In the Philly suburb, Bala Cynwyd
Learned they loved fucking 'ho's
Who attended St. Joe's
So I found one and put in my sin bid.
St. Joseph's University is located nearby.

1668. Oncology 101

An old ballerina named Asta Mize
Has pants which she now must elasticize
This once fine toe-dancer
Has uterine cancer
Let’s hope that it doesn't metastasize.

1667. Cannes I be next?

There is a French woman in Nice
Who considers her life a caprice
With her legs in the air
And her pussy laid bare
She'll let any guy knock off a piece.

1666. Twain wreck of a limerick

Clemens' place in the pantheon's rightful
Though he sometimes wrote things that were spiteful
He may have been gauche
But only a 'skoshe'
And mostly, we find him delightful.

1665. Midnight Cowboy redux

There once was a queer from Detroit
And at buggering, he was adroit
He did these acts sinister
With his local minister
But fantasized over Jon Voight.

1664. Cad of a dad

Former Major League player, D. Tartabull,
Was voted by teammates, "Most Fartable"
As a father, this Danny
Ain't much of a man, he
Owes child support -- too big a cart t' pull?
He was named the top deadbeat dad in Los Angeles after allegedly failing to pay more than $275,000 in child support for his two sons

1663. Extra exercise?

A man with a dick like a log
Decided to go for a jog
And there on the trail
Fucked a San Quentin Quail
Which left other runners agog!

1662. I'm a proud GP

We're about to go off on a trip
To see grandson, he's really a pip!
He's just eight months old
But if I may be bold
Off his grandfather's block, he's a chip.

PD189-193. A mixed bag of oldies

I'll be offline until April 7 so enjoy these on a one-a-day basis

There was a young girl named McKnight
Who got drunk with her boyfriend one night
She came to in bed
With a split maidenhead --
That's the last time she ever was tight.

There was a young lady of Asia
Who had an odd kind of aphasia
She'd forget that her cunt
Was located in front
Which deprived her of most of the pleasure.

A certain young man of great gumption
'Mongst cannibals had the presumption
To go - but, alack!
He never came back.
They say 'twas a case of consumption.

There was a young harlot of Clyde
Whose doctor cut open her hide
He misplaced her stitches
And closed all her niches
She now does her work on the side.

A decrepit old gas man named Peter
Whilst hunting around for the meter
Touched a leak with his light;
He arose out of sight
And, as anyone can see by reading this, it also destroyed the meter.

1661. Choose your organ

There was a young maid from Salinas
At the keyboard, she played sonatinas
And although she loved Bach
She was fonder of cock
So was always in search of a penis.