PD395-PD411. From a fecund fuckin' website

With the year-end in sight, I feel it's time for mass quantities.
There was a young harlot named Schwartz
Whose cock-pit was studded with warts,
And they tickled so nice
She drew a high price
From the studs at the summer resorts.

A fellow whose surname was Hunt
Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt:
This versatile spout
Could be turned inside out,
Like a glove, and be used as a cunt.

A highway patrol buff named Claire,
Once screwed half a troop on a dare,
And her parts grew so hot
There was steam on her twat
So they nicknamed her Smokey the Bare!

"For the tenth time, dull Daphnis," said Chloe,
 "You have told me my bosom is snowy;
 You've made too much verse on
 Each part of my person,
 Now DO something - there's a good boy!"

There was a young sailor named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates
But a fall on his cutlass
Did render him nutless,
And pratically useless on dates.

She wasn't what you would call pretty,
And other girls offered her pity:
You would never have guessed
That her Wasserman test
Involved half the men of the city.

A wanton young lady from Wimley
Reproached for not acting quite primly
Said, "Heavens above!
I know sex isn't love,
But it's such an entrancing facsimile."

A wicked stone cutter named Cary
Drilled holes in divine statuary.
With eyes full of malice
He pulled out his phallus,
And buggered a stone Virgin Mary.

There's a charming young lady named Dooley
Who's often been screwed by yours truly,
But now--it's appallin'--
My balls always fall in!
I fear that I've fucked her unduly.

There's a sports-minded coed named Sue,
Who's been coxing the varsity crew.
In the shell Sue is great,
But her boyfriend's irate,
When she calls out the stroke as they screw.

The ancient orthographer, Chisholm,
Caused a lexicographical schism 
When he asked to know whether 
'Tween covers of leather
He should use "g" or "j" to spell "jism?"

There was a young sapphic named Anna
Who stuffed her friend's cunt with banana,
Which she sucked, bit by bit,
From her partner's warm slit,
In the most approved lesbian manner.

There was a pianist named Liszt
Who played with one hand while he pissed,
But as he grew older
His technique grew bolder,
In concert, jacked off with his fist.

There was a young fellow name Tucker
Who, instructing a novice cock-sucker,
Said, "Don't bow out your lips
Like an elephant's hips,
The boys like it best when they pucker."

There was a young fellow named Blaine,
And he screwed some disgusting old jane.
She was ugly and smelly
With an awful pot-belly,
But... well, they were caught in the rain.

There was a young fellow named Bowen
Whose pecker kept growin' and growin'.
It grew so tremendous,
So long and so pendulous,
'Twas no good for fuckin' -- just showin'.

There was a young fellow named Gluck
Who found himself shit out of luck.
Though he petted and wooed,
When he tried to get screwed
He found virgins just don't give a fuck.