2786. Homonyms and hymns

Attending my church makes me fain
There my joy I do not have to feign.
Psalm 122
Tells me just what to do
When I enter the courts of my fane.

2785. Cantermagine that galup on that horse

Protesting the high taxes civi
Ms. Godiva shed even her skivvy!
Then (according to source)
Rode through village on horse
But I hear she went slow, not tantivy.

2783-2784. Wonder if the movie was any good

Took a date to a flick sparsely dressed.
Put my arm 'round her, felt of her breast.
She said (rather loud),
"Not here!  Too big a crowd."
So I withdrew it at her behest.

The tickets had each cost a dollar
But I didn't mind hearing her holler
'Cause we hied to my car
Found a glen not too far,
Crawled in backseat where she let me ball 'er.

2782. Randy rednecks

How can they not call 'em "assault"
While defending, "It ain't the gun's fault"?
Would I be wrong to say
Members of NRA
Prob'ly also look up to John Galt?

2781. Abe deserves his own

Today we mark "Presidents Day"
At home, not at work, most folks stay.
I don't know your thinkin'
But both George and Lincoln
Would get one if I had my way.
Here's an interesting article about Prez Day.

2780. We've gone to the dogs

When our marital ashes need fannin'
I tell my wife, "You need some mannin'
So get on your knees
Raise your butt to the breeze
And be shot as I rear-mount my cannon."

2779. Francis Drake also had a Golden Hind

A faggot named Fred had a smut knack,
He could come just by stroking his nut sack
Spring, winter, or summer
Would call in a plumber
Then beat off while viewing that butt crack.

2778. Hot springs eternal

A German in old Baden Baden
Due to winter was feeling down-trodden.
To escape weather raw
Spent all day in the spa,
Which left him all shriveled and sodden.

PD345-347. Where's the drum corps?

There was a young fellow named Fyfe
Whose marriage was ruined for life,
For he had an aversion
To every perversion,
And only liked fucking his wife.

Well, one year the poor woman struck,
And she wept, and she cursed at her luck,
And said, "Where have you gotten us
With your monotonous
Fuck after fuck after fuck?

Then, perhaps, several years went by...

A despairing old landlord named Fyfe,
With a frigid and quarrelsome wife,
Let his third-story front,
To a willing young cunt,
Who supplied him a new lease on life!

2777. Well that's just ducky (not!)

L.L. Bean's changed its deal, oh my God!
No more free returns when you need shod.
But not just boots and shoes,
Everything!  For they lose
Too much money because of the fraud.
They'll still give free replacements but only for one year.  Read here.

Their famous Duck Boot.

2776. Wynn will it end?

In Las Vegas, Steve Wynn took his licks,
He resigned yesterday, no more bricks.
It was no big surprise,
He's just one of the guys
Who think with the heads of their dicks.
Among properties he built are The Mirage, Treasure Island, Bellagio, and of course, Wynn.

2775. Evidently must plummet!

Stockholders thought Friday was bad
When the Dow dropped 650, a tad
If compared to today --
"Bears" were not held at bay
Down Eleven-seven-five, oh my gad!
Closed on 2/5 at 24,345.75, off 1,175.21 (4.60%)

2774. What goes up...

Yesterday brought a slump in the Dow,
Down 650!  Most said, "Holy Cow!"
Readjustments bring pains
When you're used to huge gains
But correction was needed, and how!
Despite losing around 2½% of its value, the DJIA is still up over 18% in 2018.