PD360-365. More Worldly Pleasures

There was a young monk of Dundee
Who complained that it hurt him to pee,
He said, "Pax vobiscum,
Now why won't the piss come?
I fear I've the c-l-a-p."

There was a young parson of Harwich,
Tried to grind his betrothed in a carriage.
She said, "No, you young goose,
Just try self-abuse.
And the other we'll try after marriage."

There was a young man of Lahore
Whose prick was one inch and no more.
It was all right for key-holes
And little girl's pee-holes,
But not worth a damn with a whore.

There was a young man of St. John's
Who wanted to bugger the swans.
But the loyal hall porter
Said, "Pray take my daughter!
Those birds are reserved for the dons."

There was a young man of Coblenz
Whose ballocks were simply immense:
It took forty draymen,
A priest and three laymen
To carry them thither and thence.

There was a young man of Australia
Who went on a wild bacchanalia.
He buggered a frog,
Two mice and a dog,
And a bishop in fullest regalia.