443. Dental impression

A middle-aged cocksman named Mark,
Took a sharp-tongued old bitch for a lark.
She gave him some head
And it turned his dick red
For her bite was much worse than her bark.

428-429. Missing parts

There once was a blind man named Lake,
Whose eyeballs were totally fake.
Still, he was quite deft
At finding the cleft
Of a girl with his old one-eyed snake.

A crusty old sergeant named Sam,
Lost his dick over in Viet Nam.
'Twas caused by a Ho
(It was not Chi Minh, though)
With a badly-diseased bearded clam.

417. Far and away the longest

I will tell of a fellow named Jake,
Whose prick is as long as a snake.
He can stand two feet back
And still enter your crack!
As to dick length, young Jake takes the cake.

410-411. Soft porn

A man's unreliable wand,
Didn't keep him from wooing a blond.
But their date, it was tragic,
His wand had no magic,
Stayed flaccid so they couldn't bond.

There once was a man in a funk,
Who rarely got laid (was a drunk.)
When he'd start to drink,
His poor dick would shrink
And he couldn't ejaculate spunk.

392. (S)extinguished

A fellow whose dick, when it hardent,
Was at sexual matters quite ardent,
Started fucking so fast
His girl thought "He can't last!"
And she sprayed him with fire retardent.