PD21-22. Extra, Extra!

After reading #376 about the Princetonians with its 5th line lagniappe, my younger brother was reminded of these two from Legman's The Limerick and suggested I post them.
There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner.
At a quarter to nine
They sat down to dine;
At twenty to ten it was in her.  The dinner, not Skinner -- Skinner was in her before dinner.

There was a young fellow named Tupper
Who took a young lady to supper.
At a quarter to nine
They sat down to dine;
And at twenty to ten it was up her.  Not the supper -- not Tupper -- It was some son-of-a-bitch named Skinner!

PD1-2. Feeney and his straight friend, Sweeney

I can recite about 100 dirty limericks from memory.  Most of them are not mine and can be found in the two classic works by Gershon Legman, The Limerick (copyright 1964) and The New Limerick from 1977.  If you like 'em dirty (you must, you're on my blog!), go buy both tomes.  There are 1,739 entries in the first book, 2,750(!) in the second, and they're all devoid of "any redeeming social value."

Occasionally I'll post some of those.  Their 'numbers' will be designated with 'PD' for 'Public Domain.'
Here come a couple from Legman's first book.

I love this one, not only for its humor but also for the alliteration in lines 1 & 2.
There once was a faggot named Feeney
Who enjoyed putting gin on his weenie
Once (being uncouth)
He added vermouth
And slipped his friend Bruce a martini!

While on that "eeny" rhyme, here's another favorite:
There was a young fellow named Sweeney
Whose girl was a terrible meanie
The hatch on her snatch
Had a catch that would latch --
She could only be screwed by Houdini.