2635. Bountiful boobs

There's a beautiful girl down in Dustin
When men see her, they always start lustin'
She's their rodeo queen
And her tits are obscene,
Double G's --- make you want to start thrustin'.
Pop 381

2634. It was actually on 8/27

It's the birthday of my old friend, Jim
Who could spend a few hours in the gym
But it takes one to know one
Besides, a gym's no fun,
We'd each rather drink than get slim.

2633. Be lewd to be laid

There's a small Okie town that's named "Greasy"
Do not try the cafe, you'll feel queasy
But if you should drop by
For some snatch on the sly
You'll find most of the girls to be sleazy.
Pop. 372.

2632. While you're at it, belt me

A show-offy rancher from Braman
Wanted cowboy boots made out of caiman.
No one had them in stock
So he said, "What a croc!"
And had a pair made by a layman.
Pop. 213

2630-2631. Slow business day

A madam with attitude sunny
Found a lad on her stoop looking funny.
Asked him, "Whaddya want?"
The youngster said, "Cunt",
So she said to him, "Show me the money."

When the little guy pulled out one dollar
She said, "For that, no whore's a baller."
Confused, he said, "What?"
She replied, "Won't buy twat
But for 50 cents more, I will swaller."

2625-2629. Killer AWADs

This week's offerings from A.Word.A.Day were extremely difficult for rhyming.  I suspected that many of the limericks submitted to Wordsmith.org for inclusion in the weekend roundup (the AWADmail) would have near-rhymes, so I took on the task of trying to avoid any and sent these in.  How'd I do?

Parergon (pa RUHR gahn) - an accessory, embellishment, or byproduct of a main work
A polar bear lived an iceberg on
Just wishing he had a parergon.
Found a turpentine can,
Thought it might yield a tan,
Then wondered, "Hey!  Where has my fur gone?"

Deterge (di TUHRGE) - to wash, wipe, or cleanse
Secret Service is having to splurge
On hotels, is it time for a purge?
Food at Trump's Mar a lago
Costs like it's from Spago,
How long before Don we deterge?

Trangam (TRANG um) - a trinket, puzzle, or odd gadget
Got a call from my friend, Larry Langham,
He said, "I'm in need of some trangam."
"My Monopoly™ game
Has no tokens --- a shame."
I told him, "No problem, I'll brang 'em."

Transitive - a verb that takes an object; or involving transition; or changeable, transient
Some Germans who really liked schmaltz
Gave cotillions in downtown New Paltz
The music, while dance-ative
Was certainly transitive,
Kept switching from polka to waltz.

Synoptic - relating to a summary or general view of something, or taking a similar view (as the first three Gospels of the Bible -- Matthew, Mark, Luke)
A Christian in Egypt, a Coptic,
Reads the Gospels in manner synoptic.
He does this on-line
Which is normally fine,
Unless there's a glitch fiber-optic.

2624. Hairy indianus

A bottom who lived in Beirut
Decided he'd learn to play flute.
Then a top came along,
Slipped the flautist his dong
And our music man gave a gay toot.
Title is a pun on "Gary, Indiana" --- a song from "The Music Man."
"Tops and bottoms" were explained in #2398 in Feb. 2017..

2623. Perhaps he got 3 quarters of the way

An I-hope-to-get-laid lad in Spencer
Put three coins in a men's room dispenser.
Armed with two prophylactics
Tried using didactics
On girlfriend but couldn't convince 'er.
Pop. 4,024

2622. Logophilic loser

A virginal fellow from Skiatook
Decided 'twas time he should try a nook*
Passed by Borders' front door
On his way to a whore,
Got cold feet and went inside to buy a book.
Pop. 7,788.  * 'Nookie', not a digital reader.

2621. A sterling suggestion

If you're hosting a dinner in Porum
Don't set out your silver by Gorham
The men are all rubes
Who just want so see boobs
Which is why all their spouses abhor 'em.
Pop. 716

2620. Or should we drink Corona?

In Missouri to see the eclipse
So excited, my heart's doing flips!
With darkness in toto
I may take a photo
Or two in between champagne sips.

We're going to watch in St. Clair, MO, which will have totality for 2m, 40s.  We still have 80 miles to drive, as the nearest place we could find a motel (we only decided this last Thursday) was St. Robert, MO.  Rolla (26 miles closer but still 54 from our destination) had zero rooms then!

2619. Playing with blue balls

A basketball player from Byng
Was hoping to have a sex flyng.
Chose a pretty young girl
But she ended their whirl
By not sucking the guy's ding-a-lyng.
Pop. 1,191  

2618. Leave Minco, don't blink though

If you're trying to locate Pocasset,
Don't drive too fast or you will pass it.
When asked, "Have you been?
What do folks do for sin?"
Most people will just remain tacit.
Pop. 202

2617. Colorado courtesy

If a friend transports you with gay pride
To a bar, and then joins you inside
Where some guy with ass tight
Suggests, "Let's spend the night,"
Please do not forget --- Telluride.
Friend Robin performs every summer at the Telluride Chamber Music Festival.

2616. Jocular jism jane

A woman from 'East' Broken Bow
Is a light-hearted, pot-smokin' ho.
She fellates with a giggle
Which makes the guys wiggle,
It's known as the old jokin' blow.
Pop. 4,132 (and too small to be 'directional.')