2470-2473. Down, but not out

On yesterday morn I said, "Shoot!"
When my trusty(?) laptop went kaput
Took it in for repairs,
Man did not ease my cares
Saying, "This may cost lots of your loot."

What's worse, he said, "3 or 4 days."
And I have not employment which pays
Me, so soon as he said it
I knew that my credit
Card's balance will raise my malaise.

I suppose I could post by smart phone
But the keypad's so small, makes me groan
While it's OK for reading
Email, I'm conceding
I'm using a PC "on loan."

Yes, I've come to my local library
For a couple of hours here I'll tarry
But they're closed on Sunday
No more posts 'til Monday
So Suz and Dave, please here "make merry."

2469. How do you do 'er?

A desiccate woman in Dewar
Found her dates growing fewer and fewer
Her chances went dim
When men learned that her quim
Had closed up; they no longer could screw 'er.
Pop. 871

2468. Why the long "i"?

A grocery shopper in Shidler
Spends much of her time as an idler
She's put lots of weight on
So cannot walk straight on
Down aisles; people call her "The Sidler."
Pop. 439.  The "i" is long 'cause that's how the man said it.

OP423. King of Garvin Marred Ins (and Outs)

An Italian man living in Wynnewood
Had a passion for love -- any guinea would.
     But this would-be Don Juan
     Garnered giggle or yawn
Once a gal glimpsed his limp, mini, skinny wood.
This Garvin County town counted 2212 souls in the 2010 Census.
Ed. note: Poster OkieJokey wrote this but forgot his password.

2467. Anus and handy

O'Doul, a persuasive galoot,
Had a lady friend out in Canute
When her pussy was dry
He convinced her to try
His old cock up her filthy poop chute.
Pop. 541

2466. Mostly male visitors

A cook with no talent named Janna
Runs the only cafe found in Hanna
Her chicken and biscuits
Are drier than Triscuits™
Men come back 'cause she looks like Vanna.
Pop. 140

2465. Aaaargh

Those of you who subscribe to A.Word.A.Day know about some of the AWFUL limericks which are chosen for display by webmaster Anu Garg (who obviously lacks the scansion and rhyming genes.)

Joan Perrin used to be one of the worst offenders but has now been supplanted by 3-4 other bards who are even worse!  Still, when I saw this week (scroll nearly to the bottom of that link) that Garg had chosen to print three(!) of Joan's, I couldn't resist writing this:

There once was a poet(?) named Perrin, Joan
Her stories and complete lack of rhythm made everyone groan
Except for a guy named Anu
Who, I am guessing, Joan several times blew
Do you think if I asked he might give me the number for her phone?

2464. Overnight package

A well-endowed bastard in Blackwell
Wore nylon briefs which he did pack well
And his stock in trade
Was to take a young maid
To the local motel where they'd shack well.
Pop. 6,875

2463. Allow me to rune your day

There's a hateful shrew-wife down in Heavener
Her husband thinks often of leavin' 'er.
But he has no spine,
Taking each gripe and whine,
For he can't bear the thought of aggrievin' 'er.
Pop. 3,422 and site of a possible Viking rune.

2462. Skank's souvenir.

Went out with a woman from Dibble
Who told me her first name was Sybil
She'd just one persona
But caused me to moan.  A
Bad case of the clap made me dribble.
Pop. 807.

2461. Marginally less painful?

A handsome young fellow in Asher
Is reputed to be quite a masher
When a date won't put out
He does much more than pout
If she's lucky, he'll thrash 'er, not bash 'er.
Pop. 393.

2460. Usually a man's problem

There's a long-suff'ring husband in Verdigris
And I wonder if you've ever heard o' this...
His wife has some plumbing
That's troubled by gumming
He wastes much time waiting for her t' piss.
Pop. 4,351.

2459. Limited options

A queer in the town of Cheyenne
Is quite a pornography fan
The town is so small
He gets no dates at all
Must vicariously view man-on-man.
Pop. 815.

2458. Profit from "The Prophet"

A journalist born in Cyril
Got his Master's degree from Medill.
For his thesis, took on
Poetry by Gibran
(The one whose first name was Kahlil.)
Pop. 1,053.

2457. Volcanic Vagina

There once was a woman named Vera
Who lived in the town of Calera
Beneath her pube patch
Lay her simmering snatch
Twice as hot as a smoking caldera.
Pop. 2,234.