1973-1974. Apologies to Maya Angelou

There once was a woman named Dinah
Who was lonely, so purchased a mynah
Tried to teach it to talk
But it only would squawk
So she stuck it inside her vagina.

Still lonely, to combat her anguish,
Fucked a Mexican rather than languish.
This made the fowl flutter
(Raul didn't mutter)
When yanked out, the birdie spoke Spanglish!
Perhaps the poetess didn't know why a caged bird sings...

OP236. Three wise guys

At Christmas, three jokesters to thank
Who were planning on pulling this prank
This year's a bit stranger
For there at the manger
Are Mr. Gold, Murray, and Frank.

The town was incensed.

1972. Heymann is no layman

Please welcome another Canuck
Who'll now post at this blog; she has pluck
Her 5-liners (and Dave's)
Nearly always bring raves
Hey, Suzanne, we all wish you much luck!
Long-time poster Dave Reddekopp is from Saskatchewan; Suzanne Heymann is from BC.

OP233-235. Today I saw a pig fly

Well, I'M just a l'il rhymin' technotard
I exercise wearing a leotard
And yet I refrain
From a workout with brain
Getting on to Phil's site shouldn't be so hard.

Was invited to become a member
Since October (or was it November?)
Alone I can't do it
So who'll see me through it?
My techno whiz kid? Can't remember.

'Nother birthday has just passed me by
And that tells me "Get going!" Here's why:
Must get with the program
(I can't, it's a logjam!)
As each day advances
It speeds up my chances
Of doing my last act - to die.

1971. Déclassé clown

Mrs. Lewis was mad and disgraced
When she learned her mate hadn't been chaste
Tried poisoning Jerry
With pie (Boysenberry)
Quite heavily arsenic-laced.

1970. Does one exist? Free?

My sex life has gone in a rut
I think what I need is a slut
One who's happy to try
Sucking me 'til I'm dry
And enjoying my dick up her butt.

1969. Judon't wanta mess with him

A school boy (just one time) was taunted
By bullies, but he was undaunted
Black belt (Tae Kwan Do)
Made him happy to show
Those browbeaters why he was so vaunted.

1968. "Father of the Piano"

The player/composer, Clementi,
Was famous before he was twenty
Inspired by Erato
His playing legato
Created for him fans a'plenty.
In the early days of this blog, I wrote several on composers.  It's been a while.

1967. My love/hate affair with my penis

An elderly man, full of wrinkles,
Takes three minutes each time that he tinkles
But should his dick get stiff
Making wife cut a quiff
It will put in his eyes many twinkles.

1966. No get-up-and-go

I love that my mornings aren't hurried
Unlike when I formerly scurried
To avoid being late
Now I've naught on my plate
What's been hurried is when I'll be buried.

1965. What's your definition of 'is?'

Slick Willie had wiles, it is true
With those charms, he a young intern drew
To his office, where kneeling
She gave Bill that feeling
Not 'sex' though, 'cause they didn't screw.

I received this purported Bernie Sanders ad in an email yesterday:

1964. A unique 19th hole

Given 24 hours leave in port
A sailor set out for some sport
He got in some golfin'
Then got in a dolphin
Was that any way to cavort?

1963. I gnu not to try rhyming Ouagadougou

A newspaperman from El Paso
Took assignment to Burkina Faso
He drank beer quite hoppy
And wrote of Okapi
He'd rounded up using his lasso.

1962. Touchy about feely

As he grasped both her cheeks in mid-hump
On his neighbor's ass, he felt a bump
He decided (for sport)
That he'd pinch that large wart
So he did.  Now his cheek has a lump.

I had an aunt who told the funniest jokes.  Here's one:
A not-too-bright man was approached by his neighbor, who said, "You SOB!  I understand you told everyone in town that my wife has a wart on her ass!"
The accused man replied, "No I didn't!!  All I said was, 'it felt like a wart.'"

PD211-212. Clean limmies from Limeys

A tone-deaf old person from Tring
When somebody asked him to sing,
Replied, "It is odd
But I cannot tell 'God
Save the Weasel' from 'Pop Goes the King.'"

'Tis said that the old Earl of Warwick
(A personage very historic)
Dismissed his physician
(A man of position)
For making him drink paregoric.