1660. Pustulence

There once was a fellow named Doyle
Whose pecker had quite a large boil
He was too scared to pop it;
Decided to lop it
So searched Yellow Pages for "mohel."

1659. Queen of the road

I describe my wife's driving as "swervious"
It's worst when the highway is curvious
She will soon have a shake up
While putting on make up
I criticize but she's impervious.

1658. Interesting idiom

Today I was eating some chow
Where I chanced to run into a sow
I'd once dated.  She said,
"Hey!  Last week I saw Fred!"
"Oh, really?  Well, wha'd he allow?"
That is a southern colloquialism that's rarely heard nowadays (so is 'nowadays,' I suppose.)  Today we might say, "What did he have to say?"  You may remember that Mark Twain often described what had been said with, "He 'lowed as how..."  As a child, I pronounced it 'lo' and wondered what it meant. 

1657. Catwoman (Pussywoman?)

That fine-looking actress named Berry
Is one with whom I'd like to tarry
When I think of Halle
And her furry valley
Hell, I just might ask her to marry.

1656. Backdoor play

When you ask, "May I go up your anus?"
Some girls say, "We're afraid it will pain us."
But although they demur
These acts still occur
And let's face it, they are rather heinous.

1655. Libel to get sued

My family’s needing a shamus
To locate the damned ignoramus
Who put in a tweet
All our names and our street
Saying things that did tend to defame us.

1654. Subway stop (up)

A gal had strange glands in her liver
And grew tits which made horny men quiver
The size of one boob
Could close off a train tube
Using both, she could dam up a river!

1653. Sassy saleswoman

A woman who worked as a Realtor^®
Had a brain which was lacking a filter
She spoke with defiance
To one of her clients
Which made him so mad that he kilt 'er.

While this is a clean limerick, its L3 & L4 rhyme came from a Spoonerism joke:
Q: What's the difference between a rooster and a shyster lawyer?
A: The rooster clucks defiance...

1652. I suppose it's a relative term

A well-hung old native of Chad
Really knew how to make his wife glad
That geezer would squeeze her
And tease her and please her
By slipping it in just a tad.

1651. Another geo-cretin

There once was a woman named Nora
Who went off to visit Andorra
She was taken to task
When she asked of a Basque,
"Is this where they say, 'Faith and Begorrah'?"

1650. The dreaded drizzlies

A food-poisoned person named Potter
Had bowel movements viscous as water
One prat splat he shat
Could have filled a large hat
And his forehead had never felt hotter.

OP165. Peter: Paul's all-men joy?

It is written the man Saul of Tarsus
On Damascus's road had catharsis.
     Scholars ponder afresh
     That Paul's "thorn in the flesh"*
Was confession he favored male arses.

* II Corinthians 12:7.  For the record, the "peter" in my title is a puerile term for a penis, not a reference to the Apostle Peter with whom Paul had significant doctrinal differences.

OP164. Bummer Sooners

Buzzed fraternity boys at OU
Let some crass racial epithets spew.
     Now they're banned and disgraced.
     Where's the ethos embraced
By their oaths as a gentleman true*?

*"The True Gentleman" is a code of conduct and civility which is a required recitation by everyone pledged to Sigma Alpha Epsilon.

1649. March Sadness

Four channels are showing me hoops
You can hear the fans' chants and their whoops
But as for my bracket
I might as well sack it
Reviewing it makes me say, "Oops!"

1648. Down mammary lane

I love to see cleavage on bitches
It's the second best one of their niches
At my neighborhood tavern
The bar maid's gland cavern
Soon causes a swell in my britches.