731. Færie in the ærie

A man who is very aloof,
Has the penthouse just under the roof.
He's so very stand-offish,
Finds no guys to boffish
Although he is truly a poof.

730. Little (if any) merit

There once was a goof-off named Garrett,
Who kept as a pet a small ferret.
Tried to teach it to talk
But it only would balk
So he traded it in on a parrot.

729. Nooner

I really do like a noon screw,
It's a favorite thing that I do!
Had to labor when younger,
Could not sate my hunger
Much earlier than about 2:00.

728. "Pirate Latitudes"

I'm reading this novel by Crichton
'Bout pirates who always are fichton.
Right now they're at sea
But they don't want to be,
They're in hopes that soon land they'll be sichton.

727. Try a flannel nightgown... or saltpeter

A horny new husband named Eddie
Bought his wife a revealing silk teddy.
When she slipped it off
And they started to boff,
He came before wifie was ready.

726. Style

You may have noted that I always align all five lines to the left, while others don't (including Okiejokey in his numerous "OP" contributions.)  I've never felt that moving the BB lines inward (though I have below) added anything so I don't bother to do it.  Comments?

While each writing limericks one night,
A rival and I had a fight.
       For is it convention
       That using indention
On lines 3 and 4's always right?

725. Hand-made handmaid

A man whose employee was deservent,
Said "I think I'll reward my girl servant."
Put his hand in her trough,
Rubbed her clit, got her off
Which made her devotion more fervent.

724. It's a little early for football, but...

That analyst/coach named Lee Corso,
Is zany and couldn't be more so.
After each pre-game chat,
He pulls out a hat
And his pick's made when it's o'er his torso.

723. The alternative

An old Michigander named Doug,
When rebuffed by his wife will just shrug,
Find some porn to look on,
Take it into the john
And give his small pecker a tug!

722. Seven sister wives, one not so much...

A polygamist Mormon named Fedder,
In life was a multiple wedder.
But then wife number eight
Learned "I'm not his sole mate!"
Mr. F. couldn't be any deader.

721. Long-distance love

A lesbian lassie named Lana
Has a girl friend who lives in Savannah.
They have to live singly
Thus rarely get mingly,
For Lana's out west in Tarzana.

720. Driving, missed daisies

A techie and multiple felon
Stole a GPS made by Magellan.
But the voice of its bitch
Steered him into a ditch.
That gadget on EBay he's sellin'.

718-719. Time to catch up

I missed posting on Friday 6/8 so two today...
A crusty old German from Mainz,
Will eat only ketchup from Heinz.
He says "It's a doozie!
One has to be choosy
When picking the places one dines."

A naughty young woman named Leah,
Who hailed from the town of Sophia,
Found a hot-to-trot Bulgar
With whom to get vulgar
And wound up with clap (gonorrhea.)

717. Rick Bayless-less

While train-tripping through old Chicago,
The Grahams looked for the restaurant "Spago."
It's by Chef Wolfgang Puck
But it's west coast!  Sad luck...
We ate pizza with bad Asiago.

PD37. Had a wife but had to leabvre

A trapper named François Lefebrve
Once captured and buggered a beabrve.
The result of this fuck
Was a three wing-ed duck,
A grey fox, and an Irish retriebrve.