118. Dimensionally different

A short, stocky man had a dick
Which was short but was half-a-foot thick!
When erect, just 4 inches
But still, all the wenches
Loved riding his wide-angled prick.

117. The other cervix

There once was a guy who was Czech
And his car was involved in a wrech
Though un-hurt, the big clod
Practiced insurance fraud
By pretending he'd injured his nech.

115-116. I'm balkan at traveling there

Crime is rife in the country of Serbia
If you go, it will likely disturbia.
In the wide countryside
Thieves and killers reside
You'll be safer to stay in suburbia.


A lovely young hooker, a Croat
Didn't have many places to blow at
Either bombs were exploding
Or land was eroding --
So tricks she could never go slow at.

114. Horizontal and vertical poles

A foolish young rascal named Billy
Had a habit you might label silly
He would go to a dance
Quickly unzip his pants
And then limbo, exposing his willy.

113. Need gas? Maybe not.

A man who made money by trucking
Was always the weigh stations ducking
When he'd pull in a truck stop
A whore would come suck, sop
His dick with her spit, then start fucking.

112. $.75 Words

One of my favorite websites is A Word A Day, home page http://wordsmith.org/awad/.
You may sign up there (totally free) and begin receiving words every weekday, plus a weekend compendium of readers' comments.  Today's word appears at the end of line 3.

There once was a wordsmith named Eric
Who only wrote words esoteric
These terms recondite
He would use out of spite
Just to make doltish readers choleric.

My name's not Eric, but comment if you think I need to back off the fancy words...

111. Spin Doctor

There was a physician from York
Who had a most talented dork
This marvelous mister
Did a real sister-twister
By spinning and creating torque.

110. Xenophobia

Had a box to mail cousin Adolphus
So we went to the local Post Olphus
When the clerk saw his name
I heard her exclaim
"Stinkin' Germans!" which really pissed olf us.

109. (G)astronomy

The brightest star seen, quite superious
Made one star-gazing geezer delirious
For he so closely followed it
He thought he had swallowed it
Told "You're sick" he replied "Is it Sirius?"

108. Abbey Rode (ridden?)

An altar-boy named after Byron
When first buggered made sounds like a siren
After taking the spunk
Of that horny old monk
He said "That's it for me, I'm retirin'!"

OP13-14. Two more from Larry Gott

Salutation

A comely young woman from Butte

Was thought to be terribly cutte

By the men of Fort Dix,

Who whipped out their prix

And each gave her a one-gun salutte

A young-looking college professor

Was reputed to be a sharp dresser.,

More important than that

To the coeds who sat

In his class, he was quite a caresser.

PD5. Something borrowed, something blue

This one's not original.  I try to measure up, though.
A filthy and foul-mouthed young man
Writes limericks like all-too-few can
Heaps of 'cunts', 'shit', and 'cocks'
For cheap, prurient shocks
But the fucking things rhyme and they scan.

107. Water you doing in there?

A clean fetish lady named Bauer
Spent hours each day in the shower
With her skin like a prune
She used Vidal Sassoon
And, by damn, she smelled just like a flower.

106. On the button

A woman who one day some money got
Bought a dildo to diddle her honey pot
It didn't excite
When she shoved it in tight
But she loved it when tingling her funny spot.

(Could this be 'assault with battery'?)

105. Borrowing from "Seinfeld"

There once was a woman named Mulva
So strong she could easily pulve-
Rize dicks that would enter
Her warm, gooey center
Good grief!  What a muscle-bound vulva!