2878. Teller to be more careful

A woman who worked as a banker
Developed a labial chancre
She'd taken deposits
In vaults and broom closets,
One guy with VD had dropped anchor.

2877. Rhyme but no reason

While visiting Tegucigalpa
A pilot (and member of BALPA)
Saw many strange scenes,
Trees with leaves just like beans!
In Britain they don't have catalpa.
(They don't grow in C. America, either.)

PD366-367. The long and the short of it

There was a young poet named Dan,
Whose poetry never would scan.
When told this was so,
He said, "Yes, I know,
It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can."

There was a young lady from Drew
Who ended her verse at line two.

2876. Give it a rest. (I should.)

I wish I were hung like my neighbor
His dick is the size of a caber!
He visits the houses
Of all the guys' spouses,
And fucks one each Day except Labor.

2875. Taco Bull

My brother, Steve, has nickname "Socko"
He remembers an umpire named Jocko
Whose last name was Conlan.
Steve also likes fon'lin'
Pudenda shaped much like a taco.

2874. Out, août, damned hot

The mercury climbed awful tall
And the heat index often did gall
Methinks as I bloggest
About this past August
That we're looking forward to fall.

2873. We get frosty looks in return

Air conditioning causes, I'm told,
A fellow to act really bold
In bars where he tipples
And looks at girls' nipples,
Protruding since air is so cold.

There are 122 days left in the year and I'm 127 limericks short of 3,000.  Unless I again lose interest, should be a snap to make it.

2872. Managerial magic

Since firing their leader ersatz
St. Louis has really great stats!
I cheer for my Cards
In all the ball yards
Where they play with their balls (and their bats.)
On 7/14 they replaced manager Mike Matheny, whose record was 47-46.  After starting off 4-5 under Mike Shildt they have gone 24-8, winning their last 10 series.

2871. Given the turd degree

Two college fraternity buddies
Both liked scatalogical studies.
They wrote Master's theses
On elephant feces,
What shitty and strange fuddy-duddies.

2870. Beyond my ability

For 40 months AWAD has been publishing my puns on the words.
Today's word is roister-doister!  How's a guy to pun on that?
I am instead sending in this limerick.

I can't possibly pun "roister-doister"
Couldn't even if locked in a cloister.  
I think Garg's trying to thwart
My contemptible art 
To make certain the world's not my oyster.
(Anu Garg is the founder and wordsmith at AWAD.)

2869. Auto erotic

No moon, it was totally dark,
Got my date to undress, car in 'Park'
With her feet on head liner
I fucked her vaginer,
My ass bore the steering wheel's mark.

2868. I'm hot to twat

My "rep" this will probably tarnish
But the truth I do not plan to varnish
Pussy hound that I am
I would eat J-Lo's clam
Adorned with a small bit of garnish.
(Only parsley true.)

2867. Requiem for a comedic giant

I cannot do justice by rhymin'
That marvelous playwright, Neil Simon.
Made me laugh 'til I cried
Sad to hear that he died,
Broadway's heights he'll no longer be climbin'.

2863-2866. Requiem for a Republican

McCain's gone; a kind, moderate man.
I'm a Dem but was mostly a fan
No Tea Party looney,
With voice strong, not puny
Served decently as so few can.

In Hanoi, Navy pilot McCain
Spent 66 long months in pain
Trump called him "no hero"
Which shows what a zero
We have as our nation's worst bane.

A "mav'rick" John often was called
And his votes could leave fellow-REPs galled.
His idea of what's "right"
Was not "far" nor to spite
Those who on left of aisle were installed.

He lived his last days in good humor
Not easy when you've a brain tumor.
His replacement, I've heard
Might be some fascist bird
Here's hoping that's only a rumor.

2861-2862. Going down Mexico way

While having some hummus on pita
Washed down with a rocks margarita
My thoughts often stray
To a Hispanic lay
I once had; what a sweet señorita!

When I snuggled with her on that day
To be truthful, she wasn't a "lay."
The term "señorita"
Was more "señor eatah,"
No fucks but she blew me away!