2860. Deflated mouse

Don't strauss over this one...

At last his girl did as he urgèd
Their supple young bodies they mergèd
He shot some huge wads
From both left and right cods
Which left his dick no longer turgid.
(Wonder how long before he was able to bat again?)

2859. No profanity but is it profane?

My ego is very prodigious,
Don't cross me or I'll get litigious.
Though I take time to pray
It's done only one way...
In my bed.  Guess I'm just sack religious.

2857-2858. A Twofer last Tuesday, 8/21

Tuesday, Manafort (first name is Paul)
Took a hard and a well-deserved fall
This gives Democrats hope
For impeaching "The Dope"
'Cause so long as he stays, he'll appall.

The Left Wing is cheerin' and glowin'
Celebrations we ought to be throwin'.
Stormy got paid to "hush,"
Michael got the bum's rush
First from Trump, then the judge.  Bye, bye, Cohen.

2856. Magnificent MILF

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2855. Doubt this will keep you in stitches

An old Jewish tailor named Cohen,
Is constantly goin' and blowin'
Those verbs in Line 2
Have nothing to do
With things sexual, just with his sewin'.

2854. Vicarious views

A gorgeous gal golfer named Creamer
Makes me horny; how I'd love to ream 'er.
But she'd spurn my advances,
My hole-in-one chances
Are better; I'll just stay a dreamer.
First name Paula.  I'd like to maul 'a and let her hold my trophy like that.

2853. Taking attorney for the worse

Herr Trump has a lawyer who's scrawny
And obsequious (aka fawny)
His brains show a paucity,
Props Don with ferocity
How weird is that guy Giuliani?

2852. I'd letter do me

I enjoy a cigar from Havana
While list'ning to Carlos Santana.
And when those are through
I'd sure love to screw
Wheel of Fortune's blond bombshell named Vanna.

2849-2851. Trade off (WAY off)

Right-wingers do not seem to care if
Trump adds the occasional tariff
'Tho nations retaliate
Fox News will just palliate
The damage.  I say, "Call the Sheriff!"

We're paying so much more for steel
Car-makers are starting to reel
Crop exports way down
Causing farmers to frown
Ain't "America First" just ideal?

Manufacturing's taking a bashing
Work forces are seeing some slashing
But Don's smart, went to Wharton
No need for consortin'
With trade partners (hear their teeth-gnashing?)  

2848. Or use a sack

When girls have a big pair of hooters
They probably won't lack for suitors
Who cares if their features
Remind of space creatures
We'll fuck not their faces, just cooters.
(Apologies.  I've used those 1-2-5 rhymes many times before.)

2847. Suddenly ubiquitous

Is your book really true, Omarosa?
Did you break rules just like Sammy Sosa?
By making big scenes
And spilling the beans
You've become a TV virtuosa.

2846. 'Sarah honest bone in her body?

So mendacious is Huckabee-Sanders
She surely does raise press corps danders
The left wing decries
All her out-and-out lies
And she spins things whenever Don panders.

2845. It pays to advertise

An oversexed student named Stoner
Couldn't int'rest his girl in his boner
'Til he unzipped his pants,
Pulled it out, made it dance!
Within moments he'd made her a moaner.

PD360-365. More Worldly Pleasures

There was a young monk of Dundee
Who complained that it hurt him to pee,
He said, "Pax vobiscum,
Now why won't the piss come?
I fear I've the c-l-a-p."

There was a young parson of Harwich,
Tried to grind his betrothed in a carriage.
She said, "No, you young goose,
Just try self-abuse.
And the other we'll try after marriage."

There was a young man of Lahore
Whose prick was one inch and no more.
It was all right for key-holes
And little girl's pee-holes,
But not worth a damn with a whore.

There was a young man of St. John's
Who wanted to bugger the swans.
But the loyal hall porter
Said, "Pray take my daughter!
Those birds are reserved for the dons."

There was a young man of Coblenz
Whose ballocks were simply immense:
It took forty draymen,
A priest and three laymen
To carry them thither and thence.

There was a young man of Australia
Who went on a wild bacchanalia.
He buggered a frog,
Two mice and a dog,
And a bishop in fullest regalia.

2844. Father of computing

None of the AWAD limerick writers was able to get a pure rhyme on 'cabbage' yesterday.  I could think of only one.

A polymath, not too political,
Did sometimes hear remarks which were critical.
Though Sir Charles Babbage
Did not earn much cabbage
He built engines called "Analytical."