2678. Whew! 29 to 24

Though the refs tried to rob us connive-ally
In the record book, write it archivally.
Had we lost this big game
'twould have been a damned shame
But OU won the Red River Rivalry!

Helped by several 'phantom' calls, texas came back from a 20-0 deficit to lead 24-23 with only 8 minutes left in the game.  The Sooners responded with a touchdown pass less than 2 minutes later, then held on for dear life.

2677. Not dune too well

There's a giant wasteland, Mauritania,
Nine times larger than our Pennsylvania.
In that tropical zone
It is dry as a bone
The inhabitants wish it were rainia.
Desertification is somewhere between 75 and 90 per cent.

2676. She's Sancerre about it

Une femme dans le sud Côte d'Ivoire,
Drank only the wines of the Loire.
Once empty, she'd throttle
Her cunt with the bottle,
Sans boyfriend, c'était sa bête noire.

2675. Somebody, steal his phone

Trump's hot oil continues to pour on
Rex Tillerson (called Don "a moron.")
He needs some retreats
From his ev'ryday tweets
Otherwise, he'll continue to bore on.

2674. Not a pecker checker

A whore down in Lagos, Nigeria
Will fuck any guy, no criteria.
Due to standards so loose
She's now dripping the juice
Of some mean gonococcal bacteria.

2673. Ten buck, too

A man bought a painting in Mali.
Its surrealism made him say, "Golly!"
There were no melting clocks
But it still gave him shocks,
For the signature clearly read "Dali."

2672. Hemorrhoidal hindrance

A prostitute living in Togo
Shows a blow job as part of her logo.
Though she screws many styles
She's a victim of piles;
If you want anal sex, it's a no-go.

I did Togo's next-door neighbor in June of 2014.  I'll save you the look-up:

 1361. Atlantic bight (bite?)
Have you looked at a map of Benin?
Its shape is a wee bit obscene
From the looks of the shaft
The mohel was daft,
Either that, or the guy was just mean.
I've heard it said that mohels work only for tips...

2671. And then there's the melanin lack

When you're in Equatorial Guinea
Look up a white guy, his name's Benny.
Unless you are blind
He'll be easy to find;
He's fat while the natives are skinny.

2670. Salivation from sin

Continuing thru Africa...
A lesbian down in Botswana
Had a torrid affair with friend Donna.
This lapper named Laurie
Made dry Kalahari
Run wet when the two reached Nirvana.

2669. "I don't think we're in Louisiana any more."

A Patriot*, Dan Amendola,
Decided to visit Angola.
His intent was the pen  
But the plane landed in

Where they formerly lacked Coca Cola™.

* The NFL kind.

2668. And black-hearted, too

An onyx-skinned bitch from Somalia
On dates did a thing that would gall ya.
Whether youngster or geezer
She proved a prick teaser
In other words, she wouldn't ball ya.

2667. I just wanna say one word to you*

There once was a man from Rangoon
Who learned how to play the bassoon.
It was made out of maple
(The instrument's staple)
And warped in the summer monsoon.
* Click here to learn the alternate material for bassoons.

2666. Buns of steel

A Kolkata fellow, a yogi,
Spouted wisdom just like an old fogey.
But the gals didn't care
For he also would share
His big prick; 'twas the size of a hoagie.

Is this guy real or a fakir?

2664-2665. Idiots' idioms

Athlete-speak has become a big blight
Same clichés you will hear ev'ry night.
Why must they all say,
"At the end of the day"?
It is horribly hackneyed and trite.

Another in which all jocks revel
Is stale and it grates like the devil.
It doesn't behoove
That, instead of "improve"
They must say, "take it to the next level."

2664. A screw ball, no doubt

A girl, tired of chastity guardin',
To a pitcher said, "I beg your pardon,
But I'm ready to sin,
Wanna slip your dick in?"
He said, "Sure!" and produced the high, hard un.