1643. Virginal Asp-irations

A gal from the Cape of Good Hope
Had a way to tell suitors, "No soap"
She kept in her poontang
An African boomslang
Has anyone fucked her?  Well, nope!

1642. 'Possumbly offensive

A redneck did something unlawful
Sold moonshine, plus he drank a craw full
He'd pick up some road kill
And braise it in "corn" swill
The odor, of course, was just offal.

1641. Razor hand if you like 'em bare

My mistress has shaved her whole patch
It looks like a little girl's snatch
I feel like a pederast,
One who has led her as-
tray.  Still, we screw with dispatch.

OP163. From Steve Benko

A fellow from far Oklahoma
Wrote limericks worthy of MoMA
But in New York they ain't
Showin' nothin' but paint
Until they awake from their coma.
Mr. Benko is a regular contributor of limericks to AWAD, getting one published virtually every week!  When I wrote him in January to congratulate him and introduce this blog, he replied with the above one.

1640. He wound up deluge-inal

There once was a man from Bahrain
Who'd never, not ever, felt rain
So he went to Kowloon
Just to see a monsoon
And one washed out the bridge of his train.

1639. Hijabs 'em if they refuse

There once was a horny young gurkha
Who learned how to dance the mazurka
One night, feeling pole-ish
Went looking for hole
Eesh!  He fucked one adorned in a burka.

PD188. Clever classic

There was a young woman from Thrace
Whose corset grew too tight to lace
Her mother said, "Nelly,
There's more in your belly
Than ever came in through your face."

1638. Cf. neighbor Nelly from PD188

A gal-hater, last name Bixroniker,
Grew up just outside Thessaloniker
Because of misogyny
He had no progeny
That's why you don't know his moniker.

1635-1637. Swell entertainment

When a stripper named Vanya Varoom
Does her act, the bar gets like a tomb
Though she once wore a g-string
It's stretched to a "t-string"
Because of what grows in her womb

She's clumsy when working the pole
Her boobs, butt and belly are swoll
There's quite a bit moa
To hide 'neath her boa
She earns tips from nary a soul

If you go there to make fun of Vanya
Take care that the bouncer don't ban ya
He owns that strip house
And besides, he's her spouse
So don't let it be said that he ran ya.

1634. Crusty ol' reprobate

At times I show signs of senility
And I know that I've lost some ability
For I can't hold my tongue
As back when I was young
And what comes out ain't said with civility.

1633. This guy's in love with ewe

A filthy young fetishist, Farnsworth,
Cares how the law reads not a darn's worth
When he wants to molest
Sheep are what he likes best
And it's said that he keeps a whole barn's worth.
I hope blogspot doesn't lamb baste me for that one.

1632. Bucolic bathroom

There once was a farmer named Fohler
Who built him a fancy two-holer
This nifty outhouse
Could hold him and his spouse
And had all the best fixtures from Kohler.

1631. A western to wank to

Jane Russell's big tits were without flaw
Causing Howard Hughes nearly to flout law*
O'er her breasts he obsessed
They were best in the west
And he put 'em on screen in "The Outlaw."
*He challenged the MPAA's Hays Commission.

PD183-187. Any of these geog your memory?

A cavalier young lad from Yuma,
Told an off-color joke to a puma.
Now his skeleton lies,
Beneath hot western skies,
'Cause the puma had no sense of huma.

There once was a lady from Butte
Whose butt was exceedingly cute
Montanans of class
Who admired her fine ass
Were thought of as very astute.

A gallant young man of Duquesne
Went home with a girl in the rain
She said with a sigh,
"I wonder when I
Shall see such a rain-beau again?"

There was an old sailor of Crete
Whose peg legs propelled him quite neat
"Strong liquor," he said,
"Never goes to my head,
And I know it can't go to my feet."

There was an old man of Tarentum
Who gnashed his false teeth 'til he bent 'em.
When they asked him the cost
Of what he had lost
He replied, "I can't say, for I rent 'em."

1630. He liked hare-y things

A German teenager named Leffer
Would make his mom fix hasenpfeffer
Then once he was fed
He'd take her to bed
The kid was a real mother-effer.