1462. Phenix rising

A corporal down at Ft. Benning
Enjoys trips off post for some sinning
When his dick gets all stiff
And then enters a quiff
It doesn't take long 'til he's grinning.
Ft. Benning is located in Columbus, Georgia. It is just across the state line from Phenix City, Alabama.  During the 1940s-50s, Phenix City was off-limits to soldiers due to all the organized crime, prostitution and gambling centered there.

1461. The A word?

I thought you were s'posed to get sage
When you grew to a certain ripe age...
But I'm so forgetful
I rage and am fretful
Whenever my brain won't engage.
I'm 68 and sometimes find it difficult to recall names of people, movies, places, etc., or to voice the word I want.  My 'old' friends do, too, so perhaps it's a normal geriatric problem.  Besides, the word or name comes to me.... eventually.... usually....

1460. Pooling their resources

Teen Fred enjoys auto-eroticism
But not just because it yields paroxysm
After yanking his doodle
He jacks off his poodle
For he likes to see a whole lotta jism.

1459. Ben Dover and take it

Elevator sales might leave you miffed
If, on a huge bid, you got stiffed
Suppose that the POTUS
Demanded, "just Otis"
But you sold the brand "Schindler's Lift?"
POTUS is an acronym for President of the United States.

OP156. The reason why he never wore pants

Claimed a reprobate Pekin named Don:
“My old Daisy ain’t all I’ve been on.
     While there’s not hardly any

     As good as Miss Minnie,
My favorite is Bambi, the fawn.”        

          Dedicated to D.D.“Duck”G.

PD159. Not the straight poop

That marvelous wit, Dorothy Parker, may have inspired this one:
There was an old fellow of Pittwood
Who never was able to shit good.
He'd leave small deposits
On shelves and in closets,
As a very small pup or a kit would.

Her poem, Despair in Chelsea, reads
    Osbert Sitwell
    Is unable to evacuate his bowels properly
    His brother, Sacheverell,
    Doubts if he ever'll.

1458. Parting really is sweet sorrow

We're headed back to our abode
It's one thousand miles there by road
We've been gone fourteen days
And loved both of our stays
But now rental van we must load.

1457. The doggy-days of summer

I love having sex from the back
I can watch my dick enter her crack
And when she's thus ridden
Her face remains hidden
A plus versus frontal attack.

1456. A-psalting your senses

An old Jewish cantor named Hyman
Chants syllables which are not rhymin'
His unsteady rhythm
Means no one sings with 'im
Since he has lost all sense of timin'.

1455. Chastity Celt

A virgin from Belfast named Weems
Would date only gay men, it seems
This insured that her cherry
Remained ordinary
'Til she met the man of her dreams.

1454. Necessary evils, I suppose

Last night, watched the first NFL
Game this season; both teams performed well.
Now don't get me wrong
But the games are too long
Thanks to replays and crap they must sell.

1453. Clap dance?

There once was a good lookin' stripper
Whose pubes were all shaved by a clipper
Like Lady Godiva
She'd bring on saliva
And fuck after hours if you'd tip 'er.

1452. No chick peas, please

Near the Mediterranean, hummus
Is common, but please, take it from us!
Maybe men named Alonzo
Eat paste of garbanzo
But I'd just as soon chew on pumice.

PD158. Damn Stroker

There was a young student named Jones
Who'd reduce any maiden to groans
By his wonderful knowledge
Acquired in college
Of nineteen erogenous zones.

1450. South bound

We're ready to head for Annapolis
The sun on the wharf there will dapple us
They won't have sand dabs
But we may eat some crabs
And the waiter had better not Snapple us!

Breakfast this morning consisted of scrambled eggs and scrapple, which may have spurred today's rhymes.  I'm hoping it doesn't spur anything else...