1115. Wank or walk

There once was a filthy curmudgeon
Whose prick also worked as a bludgeon
If his date gave no yanking
He'd use it for spanking
Her, then send her homeward a'trudgin'.

OP117. #1100's boyfriend

A man thought it would be a waste
If he didn't go down for a taste
But the flavor, it stung
Badly damaged his tongue
You could say he was rather de-based.

1114. Early home mammogram

A jazz-age gal's mind was quite wandery
Especially while doing laundry
Dreamed of being a singer
Caught tit in the wringer!
Explaining left her in a quandary.

1113. Tuba-lar bell

The title is a play on words.  Remember (click)  "The Exorcist" theme?
A musician who played the euphonium
Had his instrument plated with chromium
When he Handel'd or Bach'd
His playing got knocked
But his horn would receive an encomium.

1112. I believe I'd charge a lot more

A daydreaming teenager, Bud,
Imagined himself as a stud.
"I'll charge 10 bucks for viewing
But 50 for screwing
My marvelous fourteen-inch pud."

1110. Missing my muse

There once was a woman named Dotti
Who rode in a silver Bugatti.
(While its rhythm is clean
And it isn't obscene,
This poem belongs in the potty.)

1109. Casting couch

A movie director named Neal
Gets sex using this bold appeal:
"If you'll give me a hum job
I'll cast you in some job
That should, quid pro quo, seal the deal."

1108. I'll have the Pinot Noir

A vineyard to visitors pandered
And let folks stomp after they'd gandered
One (a jock) got to traipse
On some cabernet grapes,
His athlete's foot made 'em sub-standard.

1107. Tight fit for much else

A bishop with sports car of red
Finds that hot girls are easily led
To his Alfa Romeo,
Shouts, "Excelsis Deo!"
Each time that one gives him some head.

On 8/22/13, Okie-Jokey commented that my prelate might also like young men, precipitating this response from me...
Now his conquests aren't gender-specific
Also finds boys' asses terrific!
 (You'll note he eschews
Any cunts to abuse
Else his offspring would be quite prolific.)

And Dave Reddekopp posted this follow-up as OP118 on the same day.  Note how all 5 of his lines end with the same two rhyming syllables.  Unusual and well-played, Dave.
Whenever a boy would affect him
He took him in church to inject him
His unwilling victim
He stripped him and dicked him
And shot a full load in his rectum.

PD80. Aural sex?

This one is nearly as good as the one about the 'bent' man from Kent which can be seen by clicking HERE.   Wish I'd written either or both...
There once was a lady from Kent
Whose cunt was so large in extent
And so deep and so wide
That acoustics inside
Were so good, you could hear when you went.

1106. Since it's hump-day

There once was a sheik from Bahrain
Who thought that his steed was too plain
He painted that camel
With bright pink enamel
An act I find rather inane.

1105. Ewwwww, IMHO

A woman gave birth in Madrid
And then a disgusting act did --
She ate some polenta
Mixed with the placenta
To help her to breast-feed her kid.

It's not that unusual, I guess...  check this article from The Atlantic.

1103-1104. Auto eroticism

A slimy car salesman named Steel
Puts few women behind the wheel
He won't even quote 'em
Just takes dick and scrotum
And offers the old 'package' deal.

A man drove a classic old Stutz
On dirt roads with very deep ruts
One bounce broke a shock
Causing pain to his cock
And a permanent ache in his nuts.

1102. A laosy limerick

A home to the weird and the smart
Is also well-known for its art
It's funny that 'Taos'
Rhymes only with 'Laos'
They're 9,000 miles apart.
Comments welcomed if I'm overlooking other words ending 'aos' and pronounced with the slight diphthong.  "Chaos" meets the spelling but not the sound requirement.

1101. In a slough of trouble

There once was a hiker named Ben
Who slipped and fell into a fen
He got rather soggy
Down there in that boggy
Spot.  It was as deep as his chin.