724. It's a little early for football, but...

That analyst/coach named Lee Corso,
Is zany and couldn't be more so.
After each pre-game chat,
He pulls out a hat
And his pick's made when it's o'er his torso.

723. The alternative

An old Michigander named Doug,
When rebuffed by his wife will just shrug,
Find some porn to look on,
Take it into the john
And give his small pecker a tug!

722. Seven sister wives, one not so much...

A polygamist Mormon named Fedder,
In life was a multiple wedder.
But then wife number eight
Learned "I'm not his sole mate!"
Mr. F. couldn't be any deader.

721. Long-distance love

A lesbian lassie named Lana
Has a girl friend who lives in Savannah.
They have to live singly
Thus rarely get mingly,
For Lana's out west in Tarzana.

720. Driving, missed daisies

A techie and multiple felon
Stole a GPS made by Magellan.
But the voice of its bitch
Steered him into a ditch.
That gadget on EBay he's sellin'.

718-719. Time to catch up

I missed posting on Friday 6/8 so two today...
A crusty old German from Mainz,
Will eat only ketchup from Heinz.
He says "It's a doozie!
One has to be choosy
When picking the places one dines."

A naughty young woman named Leah,
Who hailed from the town of Sophia,
Found a hot-to-trot Bulgar
With whom to get vulgar
And wound up with clap (gonorrhea.)

717. Rick Bayless-less

While train-tripping through old Chicago,
The Grahams looked for the restaurant "Spago."
It's by Chef Wolfgang Puck
But it's west coast!  Sad luck...
We ate pizza with bad Asiago.

PD37. Had a wife but had to leabvre

A trapper named François Lefebrve
Once captured and buggered a beabrve.
The result of this fuck
Was a three wing-ed duck,
A grey fox, and an Irish retriebrve.

716. Salute

To an old classmate and one of my regular readers.
A 60+ fellow named Blanks,
Likes playing with pretty girls' flanks.
When not doing that,
Plays at golf, hits it fat
(That is, when he's not hitting shanks.)

715. Rough going

A newlywed husband and bride
Were eager to finally collide.
She was dry, had no lubes
To use down by her pubes
And the groom got rubbed raw (couldn't glide.)

714. Gotta (back)hand it to her

There once was a blond, very vapid,
Who, at saying dumb things was quite rapid.
She popped off in class
(Which the teacher thought crass)
And the blond girl wound up getting slapped.

713. Coquette

A real horny gal named Yvette,
If she's not getting any will frette.
But if being done
By a hard 6-inch gun
She will heavily pant, scream and swette.

712. Sounds like slim pickin's to me

A friend and once classmate named Wayne-o,
Decided he'd move out of Plano
To the old 'Show Me' state.
I said "Seeking a date?
What are odds in the small town of Jane, MO?"

711. Penults and cop-porn

The "penult" is the next-to-last syllable of a word.  "Penultimate" means "anything occurring next-to-last."  "Penult'ry" means I needed a rhyme.
A policewoman thought of as sultry,
Oft engaged in the sport of adult'ry.
She got caught in the act
By her husband and cracked,
"Please, once more.  Can this time be penult'ry?"

710. "I am not a crook"

In '68, one confused vixen
Began bad sense and politics mixin'.
By '71
She was sorry she'd done
What she did, 'cause she'd voted for Nixon.