229. Not a chance

An arrogant bastard named Trevor
Liked to say "As a cocksman, I'm clever."
But each girl he approached,
When the subject was broached
Unequivocally said to him "Never!"

228. A twist of law

A pugnacious fellow named Mort,
Was quite an irascible sort.
At a bar late one night
He started a fight,
Got arrested and charged with a tort.

227. Pole dole

There once was a fellow named Lutz
Who had an eleven-inch putz.
For girls, he'd no passion,
Instead he would ration
It inch-by-inch into men's butz.

225-226. The French pronounce it "Kwah" (sort of)

But read it "Croy."
Vacationing down in St. Croix
A girl fell in love with a boix
Every night they'd go wild
And soon she was with child,
Which ended her summer of joix.

And here's some more French spoken their way.
A frivolous fellow from France
Had a marvelous gigantic schwantz.
When he'd fuck les jeunes filles
He would fill them with glee
By the way that he diddled their haunts.

223-224. The long and the short of it

There once was a woman named Mary,
Whose snatch was incredibly hairy.
Men would poke and they'd push
Trying to get through her bush,
None succeeded -- she still has her cherry.

A gal had a twat that was bare,
In fact, not a single cunt hair.
Might have been alopecia --
Whatever, she'd plecia
When fucking her denuded lair.

222. Back boned

There once was a hooker named Myrtle,
Had her tubes tied so she wasn't fertile.
When she screwed in the sack,
Couldn't get off her back
So her nickname was "Myrtle the Turtle."

221. Don't mention it

There was a fat woman from Georgia
Who most of the time just ignorgia.
If you got her attention
'Twas best not to mention
Her weight or she really abhorgia.

220. An observation

Most Jews say that Arabs are lowly
And most Arabs think Jews are controlly.
Each Middle-east species
Says "Your race is feces!"
It's hard to call either side 'holy.'

219. Diseases

A drunkard who suffered dyslexia
Searched for help for his wife's anorexia.
He googled for 'codrot',
"It's 'doctor', you odd sot"
She said.  "Or do your balls perplex ya?"

218. Shrinkage

A silly weightlifter named Rick,
Whose body was both hard and thick,
Used crank with a steroid
Which made him quite paranoid
And shrank his once seven-inch dick.

217. Braveheart

The Scot, William Wallace, was martyred,
'Cause with Longshanks he never had bartered.
When he wouldn't recant
Any previous rant
Edward I had our boy drawn and quartered.

216. A flop at running

A gal in a race, trying to keep up,
Had tits five times the size of a teacup!
She remarked "Double-E
Is just way tight on me,
What I wish I could find is a G-cup."

215. Another short story

There once was a husband named Micky
Who didn't have much of a dicky.
Three inches was all
He could give when he'd ball
He was lucky his wife wasn't picky.

214. Busy street

In our middle-class neighborhood nexus
Lives a hooker who's driving a Lexus.
Perhaps we're just jealous
Still, she's overzealous,
All the men who come nightly sure vex us.

211-213. 15-line 'Thank you'

A follower of this site has his own web-presence.  He was kind enough to recently advertise The Limericist by writing some very kind words and providing a link.  And this is the thanks he gets?

A fellow in France, David Jaggard,
Has labeled himself as a laggard.
But I don't find him lazy
His pace is just crazy
For writing can leave one quite haggard.

His site is "A Quorum of One."**
When not writing, he's off having fun
Either whipping his dick
Or dipping his wick
All his creative juices do run!

His website now offers a link
To this site and I certainly think
That because of his leadership
'Twill increase my readership
Here's hoping my "limmies" don't stink.

**A Quorum of One is found at http://mapage.noos.fr/qoo/